


Buckle Up, Buttercup

by XxmerthurcatxX



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Billy has dad issues, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Blow Jobs, Bottom Billy Hargrove, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Frottage, Gay Billy Hargrove, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Language, M/M, Okay everything that happens in the show still happened but it's 2019 instead of the 80s, Rimming, Roommates, Slow Burn, Steve Harrington Has Nightmares, Top Steve Harrington, the whole party will make appearances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2019-11-12 17:29:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18015236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxmerthurcatxX/pseuds/XxmerthurcatxX
Summary: Steve Harrington was so ready to put Hawkins in his rearview mirror, ready to start college far away from his overbearing parents. Until he finds out his roommate is Billy Hargrove. Bring back the Demodogs. Reopen the gate to the Upside Down. Anything, but having this asshole for a roommate.(AU where everything that happened on the show still happened, but the year is 2019 instead of the 80s)





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> First Harringrove fic, woo! Just a quick note, I made Steve, Jonathan, and Nancy all the same age for plot purposes!

Steve Harrington was fucked. 

When he’d gotten into college it had seemed like a miracle. He’d been on the waitlist, meaning he spent the better half of the summer paranoid that he was going to have to go to community college in Indiana and live at home under his parent’s thumb for another couple of years. So when that beautiful letter came from UCLA, telling him that he’d been accepted, he literally jumped for joy. Until he found out the reason he got in was because his father made a hefty donation to the school’s fund to renovate the library. But the important part was that he would be several states away from his family. And hey, he didn’t have to declare a major until his junior year. Plenty of time to figure out what he wanted to do. 

“Yes, Nance, I promise I’ll call when I get there. You know, there’s even this nifty thing called a cellphone, so I can text you from the road.,” Steve said, rolling his eyes as his ex girlfriend fussed about him roadtripping by himself. 

“I’m allowed to worry Steve. It’s a long drive to do alone and, let’s face it, you don’t have a great sense of direction,” Nancy said, pulling the bag Steve had been trying to fit into his overly stuffed trunk out of his hand and tossing it in the backseat instead. 

“That’s what GPS is for Nance,” Steve reminded her because seriously, did she think this was the 80s and he’d be driving with only an old faded road map as his guide?

“I know. I’m sorry, I sound like a mother hen. It’s just, with Jonathan and I headed to New York and you headed to California I feel like it’s the end of an era,” she said, her bottom lip wobbling a little and okay, now Steve felt like a dick. Sighing, he pulled her in for a hug. 

“It’s not like we’ll never see each other again. There’s always skype. Plus, we can meet up on holidays and stuff,” he said, pulling back just as Jonathan was coming out of the house with the last of Steve’s bags. 

“Here ya go, man. Don’t know why you need this much stuff considering you’re gonna be living in one room that you have to share with another person,” he groussed, rolling his shoulder and wincing in pain. 

“Thanks, dude,” Steve said, choosing to ignore the rest of the comment as he shook Jonathan’s hand and pulled him in for a bro hug. 

“Promise you’ll make it back for Christmas,” Nancy said seriously, her eyes looking a little wet. 

“I promise,” Steve told her, only half sure he was telling the truth. He knew once he was out of here, he wouldn’t exactly be eager to come back. The more distance between him, his parents, and their plans for  _ his _ future, the better. “I gotta get going,” Steve said, giving his friends each one last hug before hopping into his car and putting the key in the ignition. 

The drive to California had been a surprisingly awesome few days. Steve, knowing his attention span wasn’t always the greatest, was worried he’d be bored stiff and itching to pull over at every rest stop he passed for something to do. Instead he put his iPod on shuffle and just drove, enjoying the time to be on his own before he was sequestered in his dorm room with a stranger. He let his mind wander, trying to imagine what his roommate was gonna be like. He was kind of hoping for a nerdy type that kept to themselves; easy to live with and not bringing back loud douchey frat guys who would keep Steve up at all hours ideally. Not that he slept much these days anyway. Steve swallowed. He didn’t want to go down that road. 

The truth was, even with the gate to the Upside Down closed, Steve hadn’t really slept. Not since their first encounter with the Demogorgon two years ago. And then, just when he’d started getting back to a semi regular sleep schedule, the fucking Demodogs showed up. Everytime he closed his eyes he was back in those tunnels, terrified, but knowing he had to keep the kids safe. God, it had been so long he’d almost forgotten what it was like to sleep without nightmares plaguing him all night. 

Steve shook the thought from his mind as he pulled onto campus, peering out the window to get a better look at the sign that would supposedly tell him where he needed to go. His eyes landed on Dykstra Hall as he followed the arrows around the campus. A cheery looking volunteer in a bright orange t-shirt approached his window. 

“Hi there! First year?” she asked, smiling so wide it looked like it hurt. 

“Uh, yeah,” Steve said, offering her a smile back and feeling pretty proud when her cheeks turned pink. Good to know he was still considered hot outside of Hawkins, Indiana. He’d been a little worried considering he’d seen a fair number of hot shirtless dudes who were tan and buff and drool worthy. Not that he was complaining. Eye candy was eye candy. 

“Okay, so just pull up behind that car in front of you and as soon as they move you can take their spot and start unloading!”

Steve nodded, watching as she bounced away to chat with one of the other volunteers. The owner of the car in front of him returned shortly, looking exhausted from lugging all their stuff into the dorm, and pulled out so Steve could pull up. He slung a bag over each shoulder, making a quick stop at the check in desk to get his key, before heading up the stairs to his room. 

The door was propped open when he got there, which he assumed meant his roommate was already inside. Steve snorted at the nametags on the door. They were laminated Pokemon with their names written across them. His was on a Squirtle and his roommate, Billy according to the tag, was on a Charmander. Hmm, Billy. Steve was reminded of the asshole back in Hawkins which automatically put a bad taste in his mouth. He shook his head, pushing the door open. Whoever this Billy was, he couldn’t be as bad as that Billy. 

Steve stopped dead in his tracks. 

His roommate had his back to him, but there was no mistaking that hair. No one else wore their dirty blonde curls in a mullet like that. And those jeans, so tight if there was a nickel in the back pocket you could tell whether it was heads or tails. Before Steve could hightail it out of there and request a room change, his roommate was turning around and Steve was met with the bright blue eyes of Billy fucking Hargrove. Blue eyes that widened the second they landed on Steve. 

“Harrington,” Billy said, surprise evident in his tone.

Steve couldn’t say anything. His voice caught in his throat as he stared at the boy in front of him. The boy who had beat Steve’s face to a bloody pulp the night the world could have ended. The boy who, for reasons Steve tried not to think about, had plagued his thoughts ever since he showed up in Hawkins. 

Apparently Billy didn’t know what to say either as he stood there staring back at Steve, lips still parted a little in disbelief. 

“I thought you were a year behind me,” Steve blurted, because apparently that’s what his brain decided was the best thing to say in this situation. 

Billy frowned. 

“Graduated a year early. Jesus, did you sleep through graduation? Our names are next to each other in the alphabet, dipshit,” Billy said and yep, that sounded like the Billy Steve knew. Still an asshole. Apparently nothing had changed.

After Billy had smashed his face in, he’d avoided Steve like the plague. He still checked him a little too hard in basketball and glared at him in the hallways, but the snide remarks were a thing of the past. Steve had wondered if it was because Billy felt guilty, even entertained the idea that the boy had changed. Now he was pretty sure he’d imagined it all. 

“Right I’m...I’m gonna go request a room change.”

Billy huffed a laugh, crossing his arms. 

“On the first day? Good luck. They don’t let you switch unless you can find someone willing to switch with you and since I’m guessing you don’t know anyone yet, I’d say you’re stuck with me,” Billy said, grinning with his tongue between his teeth in that stupid way that made Steve wanna punch him. 

Steve vaguely remembered reading something like that in the pamphlet he’d gotten in the mail about living on campus. Shit. That meant, for now, that Billy was right. They were stuck with each other. 

“Whatever,” Steve grunted, sidestepping Billy to throw his stuff onto the bed empty bed. He jolted in surprise when Billy touched his shoulder, immediately flying backwards and pressing himself flat against the wall. Billy blinked at him. 

“Didn’t realize you were so jumpy. I was just-

“If we’re gonna be stuck like this then it’s whatever, but I don’t...just don’t touch me, okay?” Steve said, feeling embarrassed at the sudden outburst, but not enough to keep quiet about it. 

Billy sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Look, Harrington-

“Just don’t,” Steve cut him off. He’d faced literal hell hounds. He’d beaten a monster with a baseball bat. He’d seen things that were absolutely fucking terrifying. But right now, nothing scared him more than Billy Hargrove, because Billy Hargrove was a whole different kind of danger. A danger that Steve was so not ready to face.

Something close to hurt flickered across Billy’s face, but he was quick to cover it with a sneer. 

“Have it your way, Princess.”

Billy was stalking out of the room before Steve could respond. Letting out a sigh of relief, Steve slumped against the wall, his shoulder on fire where Billy had touched him. 

Yup. 

He was fucked. 


	2. Chapter Two

“You’re rooming with Billy fucking Hargrove!”

Steve winced, holding the phone away from him as Dustin screamed in his ear. It had been three weeks since the semester started and Steve had been dreading telling anyone who his roommate was, knowing the reaction wouldn’t be a positive one. Three weeks and he was no closer to finding someone willing to switch with him. Several guys had laughed in his face when he’d asked if they would mind swapping. Only Hargrove could get himself a reputation as a hard ass douche in less than a month. 

“Jeez, calm down, dude. It’s not like I chose him. It was totally random,” Steve said. 

“Shit! This is not good, so not good! What are you gonna do Steve? I mean, he almost killed you and-

“Don’t exaggerate. I had him on the ropes.”

There was silence on the other end for a moment. 

“Sure you did, buddy,” Dustin said slowly. 

Steve would be more offended at the implication that he couldn’t take Billy in a fight if his track record wasn’t so shitty. But Billy fought dirty. He suckerpunched Steve right in the nose. Caught him off guard. Plus, breaking the fucking plate over his head had been overkill. Steve was pretty sure, in a fair fight, he could have landed more than a couple of punches. 

“So...how bad is it?” Dustin asked. 

Steve sighed, pinching the bridge on his nose. 

“During the week he’s fine. But on the weekends, he’s just like how he was back in Hawkins.”

It was true. Sunday-Thursday Billy was a nose to the grind, stay up late studying, give 100% on his homework kind of guy, snapping at Steve to turn his fucking music down so he could concentrate. But Friday and Saturday were his days to let loose. He was always out partying, coming home at all hours drunk off his ass, singing 80’s rock at the top of his lungs and effectively waking up not only Steve (on the rare occasion he slept) but their whole floor. It didn’t surprise Steve one bit that no one wanted to switch rooms with him. They did feel sorry for him though. Steve had overheard more than one person voicing their pity for the “sorry sucker who got stuck rooming with Hargrove.” 

Since it was currently Saturday night, Billy was out, hence the chance to finally have a talk with Dustin. It was only eleven, which Dustin had assured Steve was not passed his bedtime and no his mom wouldn’t be pissed at Steve for calling so late, so Steve figured he had at least a couple hours before Billy came stumbling in. 

“Any chance you could change rooms?” Dustin asked. 

“Not unless I can find someone who hasn’t met Hargrove. Everyone on the our floor thinks he’s a nightmare. I don’t know how he keeps finding parties to go to where they’ll actually let him in,” Steve admitted. 

Before Dustin could say anything, the door to the room swung open, revealing a very tipsy looking Billy Hargrove. It was early for him to be back and definitely early for him to be as drunk as he appeared to be. Steve watched as Billy struggled to untie his boots, nearly tripping and falling on his face in the process. 

“Uh, Dustin, I gotta go. I’ll text you tomorrow okay?”

“What? But we still haven’t come up with a solution for-

“Tomorrow,” Steve promised, hanging up before Dustin could protest. He wasn’t really sure what his plan was, but since Billy had moved on to sitting on the floor, grumbling at his boots, Steve figured he needed to step in. 

“Do you want some help?” he asked hesitantly. 

Billy jumped in surprise, like he hadn’t know Steve was even in the room until he said something. It took his eyes a second to settle on Steve, recognition flickering across his features as he leveled his roommate with a glare. 

“Fuck off,” Billy said, the bite in the words lessened by the slur in his speech. 

Steve rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to his laptop. Nancy had sent him this list about how to not just survive, but thrive, during your first semester of college. Honestly, he’d rather help Billy get his boots off than read a hundred bullet points on “the path to success.” All the classes Steve was taking this semester were Gen. eds, despite Nancy insisting he should take at least one class he was interested in just to break up the drudgery. But Steve didn’t know what he was interested in yet. He wasn’t like Nancy. He couldn’t pull straight A’s with his eyes closed. Gen. eds he could handle. He wasn’t ready to branch out yet. 

“Damn it!” Billy cursed, stomping his feet on the floor like a petulant child, jolting Steve from his thoughts. He still hadn’t made any progress with his boots and Steve could see him getting more and more frustrated.

Steve sighed, getting up from his desk and moving to scooch down in front of the grumpy boy doing a pretty good impression of a two year old who didn’t get their way. He reached for Billy’s laces, knocking the boy’s fumbling fingers out of the way, and tugging at the stubborn knot. 

“What happened to,  _ don’t touch me _ , pretty boy?” Billy asked with a snarl. 

Steve shook his head, yanking one of Billy’s boots off and tossing it by the other boy’s closet. 

“Keep your hands to yourself and we won’t have a problem,” he grumbled, grabbing hold of Billy’s ankle to keep him in place while he undid the other boot. 

Billy snorted, but made no other comment as he watched Steve untie the other boot and throw it next to the first one. Without a word of thanks, Billy got to his feet, shuffling over to his bed and falling onto it in an unceremonious heap. A second later his soft snores filled the room. 

Steve sighed, snagging the trash can from beside his desk and putting it next to Billy’s bed in case he had to puke in the middle of the night. A quick look at the clock told him it was nearly midnight and he suddenly realized how tired he was. He wished he could remember what it was like not to be tired. With a final look at Billy’s sleeping form, and a curse thrown to the universe once again for sticking him with Billy for a roommate, Steve crawled into bed. 

For the first time in a long time, sleep came easily to Steve. His usual nightmares must have decided they needed a night off. It was short lived however, when he was woken up by the distinct sound of retching coming from his roommate’s bed. Steve groaned, squeezing his eyes shut as the smell of vomit hit his nose. 

“Jesus Christ, Hargrove, tell me you at least managed to hit the trash can.”

He got a grunt in response, which honestly worried him a little. Billy wasn’t one to pass up the chance at a snide remark. Leaning over to his desk, which was conveniently right next to his bed, Steve flicked on his lamp. 

In the light Billy looked awful. His curls were drenched in sweat, sticking to his forehead and his face was definitely more than a little green. Steve caught sight of the vomit on the corner of his lip, following the trail that dripped down his chin. Looks like most of it was down the front of his shirt. Steve thanked his lucky stars that he had a strong stomach. Couldn’t really get much worse once you’ve gotten covered in demodog slime because one of your kids, Dustin, demanded the dog be stuffed in the fridge for the sake of scientific discovery. Billy was doing nothing but stare at the vomit covering his shirt like he was confused as to how it got there. Steve watched him for a moment longer to see if he was going to do anything about the mess he’d made and when it appeared he wasn’t, Steve knew he had to help. 

Reluctantly rolling out of bed, Steve moved to stand in front of Billy, snapping his fingers to get his attention. 

“Yo, Hargrove, can you look at me?” Steve asked, waiting for the boy to comply. 

It took a minute but Billy’s glass eyes eventually met Steve’s. Shit, he was really out of it. Unfocused and bleary and, yup, he was definitely gonna puke again. Luckily Steve was quick, snagging the trash can and holding it under Billy’s chin as he emptied his stomach. 

“Least you didn’t get it all over the place this time,” Steve said when Billy had finished, setting the trash can aside. “You could use a shower.”

“Tryin’ta see me naked?” Billy slurred. 

Steve rolled his eyes, ignoring the blush he could feel rising to his cheeks. 

“No. Just don’t want you stinking up the room anymore than you already have,” he snapped. “God, you’re a mess,” reaching out to help Billy out of bed so he could get him down the hall to the showers. 

He was unprepared for Billy to flinch away from him, looking at Steve with wide, fear filled eyes. 

“Are you gonna hit me?” Billy asked. 

Steve frowned. Hit him? Sure, the idea had crossed his mind a time or two, but he had no intention of doing it right now. Not when Billy was fucked up and defenseless. But Billy looked so scared and Steve had a feeling it wasn’t just from the alcohol. 

“If I ever hit you Hargrove, it’ll be in a fair fight, when you’ve done something to deserve it. Not when you’re too drunk to defend yourself,” Steve told him seriously. That seemed to pacify Billy, as he let Steve help him out of bed and down the hall, with an arm under his shoulders.

“H’come you’re allowed to touch me, but I can’t touch you?” Billy asked, sounding surprisingly articulate. 

Steve didn’t say anything, mostly because he didn’t have a good answer. The last time Billy had touched him, he’d been beating him to within an inch of his life and even though Steve was pretty sure he wasn’t going to do it again, the idea of Billy’s hands on him still scared him. For several reasons, some of which Steve wasn’t ready to admit to. 

“M’fine,” Billy told him when they got to the bathroom. “Think I puked it all up. Don’t have to stay.”

“I don’t want to have to explain to the paramedics that you slipped and died in the shower because I left you alone,” Steve explained. “Think you can keep yourself upright long enough for me to go back and snag out a towel and some clean clothes?”

Billy didn’t dignify that with an answer, choosing instead to flip Steve off, before whipping the shower curtain closed. 

Despite Billy’s insistence that he was fine, Steve still hurried to grab what he needed. The last thing he needed was to take a trip to the emergency because Billy cracked his head on the tiles or something. 

He sat down on the bench just outside the shower, a towel, a t-shirt, and a clean pair of sweatpants in his lap. He’d snagged Billy’s shower caddy too, since it was pointless to try to wash the smell of vomit off with just water. 

“I, uh, grabbed your shampoo and stuff,” Steve said. 

Billy stuck his hand out from behind the curtain wordlessly, accepting his shower products without so much as a thank you. Classic. Not that Steve was helping so that he’d get praise for it, but a little acknowledgement would be nice. He didn’t have much time to sit there being salty because a second later Billy was switching off the water and opening the curtain, standing in front of Steve in all his naked glory. 

“Jesus! Cover your fucking junk, Hargrove!” Steve spazzed, closing his eyes and shoving the towel at Billy. The fucker had the nerve to laugh. 

“Calm down, princess. Not like it’s anything you haven’t seen before. Communal showers after basketball? Ringing a bell?” Billy asked, running the towel lazily over his body. He might have been feeling better now that the alcohol was out of his system, but he was still a little sluggish.

“Call me crazy, Hargrove, but I don’t exactly spend my time thinking about high school bullshit. Especially when it involves the dicks from the basketball team,” Steve griped, flinching when Billy reached down and snagged the clothes out of his lap. 

“You were on the team too, Harrington,” Billy said, sounding exasperated. “Okay, I’m  dressed, you can look now.”

There was a lightness to Billy’s teasing that Steve hadn’t expected. He turned to face the other boy, noting that, though still a little pale and tired looking, Billy was looking better. The sweats were riding down low on his hips and shirt was a little too short, exposing the strip of skin above the waistband. Steve swallowed. He looked...nope, not gonna go there. 

They were quiet when they got back to the room, Billy scrunching his nose up at the smell still sticking to his comforter. He ripped it off the bed and stuffed it in his hamper, something to worry about tomorrow. Steve didn’t miss the way Billy shivered when he climbed into bed. Since he was apparently on a roll with taking care of this ridiculous boy, who he was still pretty sure he hated, Steve grabbed the throw blanket from the end of his bed and tossed it to Billy. 

“You can use that tonight, but I want it back,” Steve said, crawling back into his bed. He didn’t wait for Billy to say thank you, knowing that he wouldn’t. 

When Steve woke up the next morning, there was a coffee waiting for him on his desk so he figured Billy was grateful, even if he didn’t put it into words.   


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Headcanon: Steve Harrington cries all the time. He's not afraid to cry. But Billy fights it. He holds it in until it explodes. 
> 
> 2\. I'm sorry I didn't post this earlier, I was visiting friends out of town and didn't have time!

More often than not, Steve found himself sitting alone whenever he ventured into the overcrowded cafeteria. Not that he minded. He was used to eating alone, what with his parents being out of the house for a week or two at a time. As soon as he was old enough to operate the microwave by himself, they were leaving him on his own. It was different in the cafeteria though. He never really felt like he was alone since there were so many other students, laughing loudly and discussing the classes and professors they hated. 

He was sitting in his usual spot; one of the high tables set for two by the windows. Steve liked to watch the other students walk by, looking stressed as all hell as they ran between buildings to get to their classes on time. It made him feel like a little bit less of a mess. 

If facebook was anything to go by, Nancy and Jonathan were living it up in New York. Hanging out in cool coffee shops and visiting all the tourist traps. They’d opted to rent an apartment together instead of live in separate dorms on campus and, despite the fact that said apartment seemed like little more than a hole in the wall, they looked happy. Steve tried to tell himself that didn’t hurt, but he wasn’t that good of a liar. Not even to himself. 

“This seat taken?”

Steve looked up, surprised to see Billy standing there. 

“Uh, nope. All yours,” Steve said, sliding his plate a little closer to him so that Billy had room. 

Billy didn’t say anything as he sat down, shaking way too much salt on his fries. Steve watched Billy’s fingers curl around a fry, dip it in ketchup and bring it to his lips. He swallowed hard when Billy licked the excess salt off his fingers. 

Since the incident where Steve had taken care of Billy, something akin to a friendship had started to build between them. It was tentative, neither of them willing to stick more than a toe into the proverbial water, but it was definitely there. Billy still griped about Steve’s music and came back too late on weekends, but Steve noticed that he took more care in being quiet and not waking him up when he got back to the room. Steve kept his side of the room a little cleaner, knowing that it bugged Billy when he had too much shit lying around. 

They had an unspoken rule that they didn’t talk about  _ that _ night at the Byers house. Billy hadn’t apologized and Steve hadn’t asked him to. It was in the past. Better forgotten. Steve pushed his food around his plate, suddenly not all that hungry, when his eyes landed on the book Billy had set next to his plate. Woman at Point Zero. Huh. It didn’t sound like the kind of book Steve pictured Billy reading. 

“What class is that for?” Steve asked. 

Billy seemed surprised at the question, looking at Steve in confusion, like he hadn’t expected Steve to care about what he was reading, let alone what classes he was taking. 

“Philosophy of art,” he said with a shrug, shoving a few more fries into his mouth and looking out the window. 

Okay, definitely not what Steve was expecting. They hadn’t gotten around to asking what each other’s majors were, which Steve was secretly grateful for because he didn’t want to have to defend his choice at coming in as Undeclared. Still, he knew Billy was smart. Like, really smart. You didn’t get to graduate a whole year early by being a dumbass. 

“Oh. Is that a Gen. ed or what?”

Billy shook his head, an errant curl falling in front of his face. Steve clenched his fists at his sides, resisting the urge to reach forward and tuck it back behind his ear. He’d been having a lot of thoughts like that lately. But he knew better than to act on them. Nothing good ever came from touching Billy Hargrove. 

“Nah, I’m majoring in Philosophy. Wanna go to Law School after this,” Billy said like it was no big deal. 

Steve could kind of see it. Billy, pacing around a courtroom, terrifying even the most seasoned criminals. He was jealous. Jealous that Billy knew what he wanted to do with his life while he still have no fucking clue. That wasn’t entirely true. He had an idea, but he was scared of getting laughed at for it, so for now he was praying he’d find something else he was interested in. 

“What about you, pretty boy? What’s your major?” Billy asked, arching a curious brow. 

Steve blanched. Guess he should have expected that. Quid pro quo after all. 

“Don’t know yet,” he grunted, taking a long swig of coke, hoping Billy would let it lie. But of course that wasn’t the Hargrove way. 

“Really? Shit, I kind of figured you were Undeclared cause I’ve seen your text books on your desk, but you don’t even have an idea yet?” 

Steve glared across the table. He already felt like a loser and he didn’t need Billy making it any worse. Billy must have sensed he’d hit a nerve because the next minute he was shoving his plate toward Steve, offering him his fries and letting the subject drop. Something had definitely changed between them. High school Billy never would have let Steve off the hook like that. He’d needle and dig until Steve cracked and then tease him mercilessly when he found out what Steve wanted to do. Maybe it was okay to tell this Billy. Maybe this Billy wouldn’t make fun of him. 

“Nursing,” Steve said quickly. 

“Huh?” Billy asked, started at the sudden outburst. 

“I...I was thinking I might want to be a nurse. Ya know, help people or whatever. Not smart enough to be a doctor so...” he trailed off, embarrassed now that he’d said it out loud. He waited for Billy to crack a joke about him being a girl, or how pretty he’d look in pink scrubs. The joke never came. 

Instead Billy hummed, nodding. 

“I think you’d make a good nurse.”

Steve blinked at the boy across from him. That was it? No taunts? He was slightly mortified to feel his bottom lip trembling. When he’d mentioned it offhand to his father over the summer, his old man had laughed in his face. Told him nursing was a “sissy man’s” job and that if he wanted respect he’d go for business and then come work for his father’s company when he graduated. But Billy hadn’t laughed. Billy didn’t think it was stupid. And, yeah, Steve was totally gonna cry. He blamed the lack of sleep for his loss of control. Sure, he never slept, but it had been worse for the last week. 

“I gotta go,” Steve said, collecting his stuff in a hurry. 

“Whoa, where’s the fire?” Billy asked, brow furrowed. 

Steve just shook his head, mumbling something about seeing Billy later, before he was dropping off his dishes and practically sprinting back to the dorm. He took a couple of deep breaths, trying to fend off the oncoming wave of tears. This was so stupid. He had nothing to cry about, but God, it had been so long since Steve had felt any sort of validation regarding his life choices.

Nancy and Jonathan meant well, but they both had a way of talking down to Steve that made him feel miniscule. He had Dustin, but he’d leaned on that kid enough in the last year, and it was about time the kid got to enjoy his teenage years in peace. Sighing as he realized the tears wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon, Steve sat on the edge of his bed, letting them fall and reminding himself to breathe. He was so focused on breathing that he didn’t even hear the door open. Didn’t know he wasn’t alone until the toes of Billy’s boots came into view. Steve’s head shot up. He stared, wide eyed, at the boy in front of him. 

“I, uh, sorry, I’m just-

He cut off as Billy thrust a handful of tissues out to him. Steve took them, rubbing at his eyes and trying to fight the embarrassed blush rising to his cheeks. The truth was, Steve was a big crier. He cried all the time. Happy tears, sad tears, angry tears. It didn’t matter. That being said, he’d made a point of keeping his proclivity for tears under wraps. But here he was, crying in front of his roommate over the littlest fucking thing and feeling like a total loser. 

Billy plunked down on his own bed with a sigh. 

“So...guessing the last person you told about nursing didn’t take it so well,” he said. 

Steve huffed a laugh, a choked, wet sounding thing, and shook his head. 

“Yeah, my uh, my Dad didn’t think it was a great idea,” Steve told him, not missing the way Billy flinched at the word “dad.” “Told me nursing was for girls. And that wanting to be a nurse made me a fag.”

“Jesus, what fucking year does he think it is?” Billy huffed. 

Steve shrugged. 

“Don’t know. Not like he’s wrong though,” Steve said, eyes widening when he realized what he just said. Billy stared back at him, looking just as much like a deer in the headlights. “I-I mean-

“You’re gay?” Billy asked. 

“Bi,” Steve said quickly. “Is...Is that a problem?”

Billy laughed. Actually laughed. His head thrown back and his arms clutching his stomach. Steve was worried for a minute that he’d broken him. When Billy caught a look at Steve’s face, he sobered. 

“You’re kidding me right?” he asked, “Harrington, why the fuck do you think I graduated a year early? Why do you think I got out of the shithole that is Hawkins, Indiana?”

Steve’s head was spinning. His heart pounding, as his brain came to one, suddenly insanely obvious, conclusion. 

Billy Hargrove was gay.  


	4. Chapter Four

Finding out Billy was gay didn’t change anything between them. Why would it? Billy was still the same person. Still the same, infuriatingly hot, person. But now that Steve knew Billy liked boys it added another level to, what he would never admit out loud, was becoming something resembling a crush. It was stupid and definitely destined to blow up in his face, but he couldn’t help it. Even in high school, when Billy was the biggest asshole to walk the planet, Steve was attracted to him. His eyes lingered on the basketball court so much, he got hit in the face with the ball...more than once. 

“ _ Plant your feet, Harrington _ ,”  _ Billy would tease _ . 

“ _Screw you_ , _Hargrove_ ,” _Steve would retort, thankful that he could blame his red face on exertion from playing the game and not because of Billy’s warm hand in his as he pulled him up from the floor, only to purposefully check him hard enough that he landed_ _right back on his ass_.  

For his part, Billy suddenly cared a lot less if Steve caught him with another boy. Sometimes, if Steve got out of class early, he’d open the door just as Billy was kissing, whoever he’d picked up that night, goodbye. He’d roll his eyes, make a crack about Billy putting a damn sock on the door, then plunk down at his desk to start his homework. Maybe if he focused on the work he had to do, the sting of Billy sleeping with someone else wouldn’t be so bad. 

What made it worse were all the little moments they kept having. Billy helping Steve with his homework, Steve throwing Billy’s bedding in the wash with his own, talking into the wee hours of the night until one of them, usually Billy, fell asleep. Steve hated how quickly his friendship with Billy was morphing into something else. At least for him. 

The only person who knew about Steve’s crush on Billy was Max. In an unfortunate incident, involving drinking too much spiked punch at Tommy’s party the night of graduation, Steve had decided it was a great idea to call Billy, who was strangely absent that night, and tell him how hot his ass was. But, since he didn’t have Billy’s number, he’d called Max instead. Oops. 

“Seriously Steve, you’re still crushing on him?” Max asked, frowning at Steve over Facetime. 

“Look, it’s not my fault. I was content to squash my feelings down until the day I die, but then he had to go and tell me he was gay. And like, I know that just because he likes boys it doesn’t mean he likes me, but my odds just increased ten fold,” Steve said, sighing as his eyes flickered over to the door of the study room again. He decided one of the soundproof study rooms was the best place for this conversation, since his own room was too dangerous. 

“Honestly, I’m surprised it took you this long to figure out he’s gay. I’ve known for years. Anyway, I’d say it’s a pretty good sign that you guys have made it through half a semester as roommates without killing each other,” Max mused, tucking her red hair behind her ears and shrugging. 

“I guess. He probably thinks I’m a total weirdo. Our first day, I think he was trying to apologize for being such an ass in high school, but he touched my shoulder and I freaked out and told him to keep his hands to himself and like, not touch me.”

“I’m confused. Don’t you want him to touch you?” Max asked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively in a way that resembled Billy way too much for Steve’s comfort. They might be step siblings, but over the years they’d picked up a couple mannerisms from each other. Ordinarily Steve would find that kind of sweet. 

“Okay, first of all, you’re too young to make jokes like that. And second, if he touches me, even casually, he’ll know I like him. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I used to be able to keep my cool around crushes. But Billy puts a hand on my shoulder and I get goosebumps and go bright red. What’s wrong with me Max? Remember when I was cool? I want to be cool Steve again,” Steve groaned. 

Max laughed, shaking her head. 

“Dude, I’m not sure you’ve ever been cool.”

“Hey! That’s-

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard the rumors. You used to be king of Hawkins High, blah blah blah,” she teased, smiling at Steve’s indignation for a moment before her face got serious. “If you do decide to go for it with Billy...be gentle okay?”

Steve frowned. Gentle? Gentle didn’t really seem like Billy’s style. Max sighed at the look on Steve’s face. 

“I just mean that he’s had kind of a rough time of it and no, don’t bother asking for details cause it’s not my shit to tell. It’s personal and if Billy wants to tell you that’s his choice. I’m only saying that you better be good to him, or else it’ll be your balls I’m coming after the the nail bat. Got it?” she asked. 

“Got it,” Steve said quickly. He’d been passed out on the floor when Max had threatened Billy with the bat, but the way the boy’s tell it, they were all more than a little afraid of her. 

“Good. On a different note, I hear you’re not coming back for Thanksgiving break next week. Dustin’s pissed.”

Steve of course, already knew Dustin was pissed. So were Nancy and Jonathan. Actually all the kids were probably disappointed. Hell, even Joyce and Hopper. But Steve’s parents had called a few days ago to tell him that they were going to be out of the country for Thanksgiving and that they would have to wait until Christmas to “be together as a family.” It was par for the course for his parents to ditch out on major holidays and it’s not like Steve was eager to sit around the table and once again have his father grill him about his future. But it was tradition. It was the one time of year his cool aunt came to visit, with her husband and two kids who loved Steve and thought he was cool and drew him lots of pictures. Honestly, the idea of being in Hawkins plunged Steve into the pit of despair, so he decided to stay in the dorms. 

“I know. I’m sorry. I promise I’ll be home for Christmas though, okay?” Steve asked, hoping that would make it a little better. 

“It’s okay. I understand,” she said in a way that made Steve think she really did. He didn’t know much about Max’s mom and Billy’s dad, but parents, hell even the good ones, were always an ordeal. “Anyway, at least you’ll have Billy to keep you company.” 

Steve stared at her with comically wide eyes, his mouth dropping open. Billy was staying? He hadn’t mentioned it. Not that Steve had asked. Steve opened his mouth to respond when suddenly his phone was yanked from his hand. He looked up to see Billy, smirking at him before glaring at the phone. 

“You talkin shit about me with my roommate Maxine?” he asked. Steve noted that despite the glare he was giving his sister over Facetime, his voice held no real malice. 

“Nice to see you too, dickhead. You forget you were supposed to call me on Sunday?” Max accused. 

“Sorry kid. Got too busy,” Billy said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. 

Steve felt like he was intruding on a moment between the siblings, before he remembered that it was his phone they were talking on. He cursed the window at the front of the room for alerting Billy to his presence. A second later his phone was being shoved back into his hand, Billy grinning at him with his tongue between his teeth. 

“All yours, pretty boy,” he said, sauntering out of the room as quickly as he had entered. 

Steve would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t watch him walk away. 

“You just checked out his ass didn’t you?” Max asked. 

Steve flipped her off. 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Armed with the information that Billy was gonna be around for Thanksgiving, Steve came up with a plan. He and Billy had a tentative sort of friendship and he didn’t want to fuck it up and send Billy running for the hills by being a weirdo. But, since they were going to be together on Thanksgiving, he figured he might as well do something a little special. As a thank you for Billy not being the shittiest roommate in the world. And definitely not as an excuse to spend time with Billy and maybe get him to open up a little. Nope. Just, friendly, normal roommate behavior, Steve thought to himself as he made a shopping list. 

“You’re not going home for the holiday?” Billy asked in surprise when Steve was still there on the first day of vacation. 

“My parents aren’t gonna be around. Didn’t see much sense in going home,” Steve told him nonchalantly. 

“Figured you’d wanna see your kids.”

“They’re not my--I’ll see them at Christmas,” Steve grumbled. 

Billy laughed, shaking his head. Steve watched as his curls bounced. This stupid crush was going to be the death of him. 

The day before Thanksgiving Steve was a wreck, running around several different grocery stores trying to find the shit that he needed. It was unfortunate that Steve couldn’t cook a full Thanksgiving dinner in a dorm room. Years of being left alone at home meant that he’d honed his culinary skills, and it was a drag that he wouldn’t be able to showcase them. 

Instead, he bought pre sliced turkey; the real stuff, not the kind you buy for sandwiches, instant mashed potatoes, pees he could do up in the microwave, a jar of cranberry sauce, and premade stuffing. Not exactly the dinner of champions, but close enough. It was the best he could do given his limited resources. For dessert he grabbed two slices of pumpkin pie and two slices of apple, just in case Billy didn’t like one or the other. 

It wasn’t too hard to keep the stuff hidden. Since the dorms were empty, Steve stashed it in the large fridge in the common kitchen. If you could even call it a kitchen. Several students had gotten an electric shock or two just from touching the oven. But the fridge worked well enough.   
“You’re cooking _him_ dinner?” Dustin asked, voice a little too loud in Steve’s ear. Steve was already regretting that he’d promised to call.  

“Happy Thanksgiving to you too, buddy. And come one, how much of a prick would I be if I bought Thanksgiving shit for myself and not for my roommate?” Steve asked, peering up the hallway to make sure that Billy was nowhere to be seen. He’d left to run a few errands, so Steve figured he had at least an hour to get everything ready. Of course he hadn’t really thought through how hard it was gonna be to carry all the shit to the room, especially with his phone tucked between his ear and his shoulder, not to mention Dustin voicing his concerns loudly over said phone. 

“Yeah, yeah, Happy Thanksgiving, whatever. I don’t know Steve. This is odd behavior. Does Hargrove have you brainwashed or something? Do we need to plan a rescue mission?” he asked seriously. 

Steve rolled his eyes, knocking the door open with his hip and setting his first load of food on his desk before bolting back to the elevator, knowing he didn’t have that much time before Billy returned at this point. 

“Stop being so dramatic and tell me what’s goin on with you. Anything new in school? Any girls?” Steve asked. 

He listened as Dustin talked about the science class he was taking and how he missed Mr. Clarke because his new teacher wasn’t nearly as fun. Apparently there was also a new girl in AV club that he had his eye on, but he was trying to play it cool. Steve smiled. He remembered giving Dustin that little piece of advice and now here he was, throwing it out the window himself. 

“Okay kid, I gotta go. I’ll call you next week yeah? At the usual time,” Steve told him. 

“Sounds good, man. Make sure Billy doesn’t kill you before then.”

Steve chuckled, hanging up as he fixed a couple of paper plates up with food. He was just finishing up when the door swung open to reveal a very disgruntled looking Billy. Not that Steve blamed him. Billy was soaked to the bone. Sometime between Steve heating up shit in the kitchen and talking to Dustin, it must has started to rain. 

“You look like a wet ret,” Steve teased, grabbing a towel off the edge of his bed and tossing it to his roommate. 

Billy caught it easily, but his eyes were fixed on Steve’s desk. 

“You cooked?” he asked. 

Suddenly Steve was feeling embarrassed. Was it weird to have Thanksgiving in a dorm room with your enemy, turned roommate, turned friend?

“I, uh, sort of. I bought some stuff and heated it up in the microwave. Didn’t trust the shoddy oven to do the job, but I just figured since we were both here instead of home that it might be nice to at least celebrate a little. Plus I was gonna do it for myself anyway and I-

“Quit babbling, Harrington. I...It’s nice. What you did. I’m glad you thought of me, uh, it! Thought of...it,” Billy said, trying to cover his slip, but Steve heard it.  _ I’m glad you thought you me _ . 

Ever the king of diffusing awkward situations, Billy decided it would be a good time to start stripping out of his wet clothes. Steve cleared his throat, busying himself with getting napkins and utensils and shit while Billy changed. When Billy gave him the all clear that he was once again fully clothed, Steve offered him one of the plates, sitting cross legged on the floor with his own. Billy joined him, smiling softly as he dug into his mashed potatoes. 

“So, how come you didn’t go home?” Steve asked casually. 

Billy paused, eyes flickering up to meet Steve’s, an unrecognizable emotion in them. 

“Not exactly eager to go back to Hawkins,” Billy said, shoving another scoop of potatoes into his mouth. 

Steve nodded, letting it drop.  _ If Billy wants to tell you, that’s his choice _ . Max’s words rang in his head. What could be so bad about his home life that Billy didn’t want to go back. 

“My dad,” Billy said suddenly. “He, uh...we don’t get along.”

Now  _ that _ Steve could understand, but he guessed there was more to it than not getting along. Steve wasn’t stupid, no matter how many people said so. He could read between the lines. Deciding it was best to change to a lighter subject, since Billy didn’t really seem in the mood to air out all his problems, Steve brought up the question of dessert. 

“I wasn’t sure what kind of pie you liked so I got apple and pumpkin. I hope at least one of those is okay.”

Billy stared at him, eyes sweeping over Steve’s face like he was looking for the answer to a much more complicated question, that had nothing to do with pie. 

“Pumpkin,” he said after a while. “Pumpkin’s my favorite.”

Steve smiled. 

“Yeah? Mine too.”


	5. Chapter Five

In the immortal words of Bridget Jones, it is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another part falls spectacularly to pieces. Steve had seen Bridget Jones more times than he would like to admit, but ya know what, it was a feel good movie and Colin Firth is a babe, sue him. Besides, he was entitled to call upon the wisdom of Bridget at a time like this. 

The picture was innocent enough. Nancy was grinning at the camera, Jonathan’s lips pressed to her cheek in a chaste kiss. But it was the glint on her left hand that caught Steve’s attention. The diamond was so small it might as well be a speck of sand, but there was no mistaking what it was. An engagement ring. 

I SAID YES!

Steve read the words over and over again, convinced he was reading them wrong. Jonathan proposed? Hadn’t he and Nancy just started dating? Steve checked the date on his calendar, doing some quick math in his head. Okay, yeah, it had been almost exactly a year to the day. Guess Jonathan was trying to be romantic. But Nancy...Nancy was too logical for this wasn’t she? She was too practical to accept a marriage proposal after a year of dating. Hell, they were practically still kids! 

As if on cue, Steve’s cell phone rang. It was Nancy. 

“Did you see?!” she gushed as soon as he answered. 

“Yeah...yeah, I saw,” Steve said, unable to keep the sadness from seeping into his tone. 

Nancy must have been high on the excitement of it all, so she didn’t seem to notice. 

“It’s crazy right? I mean, he’s been acting weird for a few weeks and I kind of thought he was going to break up with me. And then he proposed and I-I just said yes before I could even think about it. Oh god, what am I doing. I’m only eighteen! This is insane. I can’t get married while I’m still in school! I-

“Nance, calm down. Take a breath. This is Jonathan. He’s not gonna like, drag you down to the courthouse tomorrow. My guess is it’s more like a promise at this point, right?” Steve asked, keeping his voice level. He listened as Nancy took a couple of deep breaths. 

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right. God, I’m sorry for that. It’s all so new and...is it weird for me to be telling you all of this?” she asked, as if the thought had only just remembered that, while Steve was her friend, he was also her ex boyfriend. 

“It’s a little weird, but you know I’m here for you whenever you need to talk, okay? That hasn’t changed,” Steve said, swallowing hard before he continued. “But maybe give me some time, yeah? I’ve gotta wrap my head around this, but I promise I’m happy for you. I really am,” he said honestly. 

“Okay. Okay, I can do that. I’ll-

“I gotta go, Nance,” Steve said, suddenly eager to get off the phone as he felt his pulse beginning to pick up, a bead of sweat sliding down his forehead. Now wasn’t the appropriate time for a panic attack, but he was powerless to stop one once it started. 

“Steve-

“I’ll talk to you soon.”

Steve didn’t wait for a response, hitting the end call button and getting up from his chair. He paced back and forth around the room, counting to a hundred and then back as he tried to steady his breathing. It wasn’t working. He could feel tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. Jesus, he was a mess. He’d always been a cry baby, but the panic attacks were new. Started happening after all that shit with the demodogs in the tunnels. 

The first time he had a panic attack he didn’t know what it was. One minute he’d been standing in front of the microwave in his kitchen, heating up leftover pizza. The next he was on curled in the fetal position, sweating balls and choking on air as he struggled to calm down. Dustin was there to talk him down, but it was ten kinds of embarrassing. Since then he’d gotten better at dealing with them on his own. But not this time. 

He slid to the floor, tucking his head between his knees and trying to remember how to breathe. It wasn’t like he was still in love with Nancy. Not since he’d seen how happy she was with Jonathan. But she’d been his first love. His first real love. The first girl who he’d wanted more from than sex. He wanted to be happy for her. He  _ was  _ happy for her. But he couldn’t help but be reminded of that night at the Halloween party. Bullshit, she’d called him. That’s all he was. Bullshit. 

Of course, because the universe was clearly against Steve, the door opened right as he started crying in ernest. Steve couldn't bring himself to care. It’s not like Billy hadn’t seen him cry before. 

“Oh shit,” Billy cursed when he saw his roommate struggling to breathe through his tears. 

He was in front of Steve in an instant, hesitating for only a moment before he put his hands on Steve’s knees. The boy had asked Billy not to touch him and he’d been really good about respecting that, but now he didn’t have a choice. Billy could recognize a panic attack from a mile away. His mom used to get them almost daily. 

Steve jolted when Billy touched him, but he didn’t try to move away. He looked up at Billy with glassy eyes that were a little unfocused. Opening his mouth to tell Billy that he was okay, Steve’s breath caught on a hiccup like sob. 

“Harrington, can you breathe?” Billy asked, squeezing Steve’s knees a little tighter, his touch keeping Steve grounded. 

A fresh wave of tears slid down Steve’s cheeks and he hiccupped again, shaking his head. Billy swore under his breath, grabbing for one of Steve’s hands and placing it over his own chest. Steve opened his mouth again but Billy shook his head. 

“I’m gonna need you to breathe with me, okay? Can you do that for me?” Billy asked, eyes trained on Steve’s face. 

Steve nodded slowly, doing his best to match the steady inhale and exhale of Billy’s breath. He felt the thrum of Billy’s heartbeat under his fingers. It gave him something to focus on. 

“That’s it. You’ve got this, pretty boy,” Billy said softly, thumb brushing over the back of Steve’s hand. 

They stayed like that for a long time. Billy patiently waiting for Steve’s breath to calm and his tears to slow. He didn’t let go of Steve’s hand until he was sure he could breathe on his own again. 

“M’sorry,” Steve mumbled, his voice hoarse from crying, as he yanked his hand away from where he was still touching Billy. Twice now he’d made a complete fool of himself in front of the other boy. 

“Don’t be. My mom used to get those,” Billy told him. 

Steve nodded slowly. He was still on edge, his hands shaking a little and his heart beating faster than it should be. 

“Tell me about her,” Steve said before he could stop himself. 

Billy blinked at him. 

“Uh...I’m not, um-

“I’m sorry. That was rude of me. Y-you don’t have to, it just, um, listening to you talk helps. Helps my brain stop focusing on...nevermind,” Steve said quickly. 

Billy chewed his bottom lip in thought, watching Steve squirm. 

“She liked old movies. Breakfast at Tiffany’s was her favorite. Big Audrey Hepburn fan,” Billy said, picking at the hole in his jeans and avoiding Steve’s eye. “She was always singing. Beatles songs mostly. Some classic rock here and there. You would have liked her. Everyone liked her,” Billy said, a fond, if a little sad, smile on his face. 

“Where is she?” Steve asked gently. 

“Dead. Cancer. When I was thirteen.”

Billy said it like he was rattling off the weather report, but Steve didn’t miss the quiver in his voice or the way his fist was clenched in his lap.  

“I bet you look like her,” Steve blurted. 

Billy looked at him in surprise. Honestly, Steve had no idea if Billy looked like his mom, but he’d seen Billy’s dad a few times when he dropped off Max after a trip to the arcade. Billy didn’t look a thing like his dad. Where his dad was rigid, almost militant, with cropped dark hair and a thick mustache, Billy was soft honey curls and deep blue eyes. Yeah, Steve had it bad for those fucking eyes. 

“Yeah...I like to think I do,” Billy said quietly, glancing back down at his lap. He seemed to realize that his hand was still on Steve’s knee and he yanked it back quickly. “Sorry I touched you. You asked me not to, but it’s the only way I know how to bring someone down from a panic attack.”

Steve shook his head. 

“It’s okay, I, um, I don’t mind. You startled me that first day. When you touched my shoulder. That’s why I told you not to touch me. I’m...jumpier than I used to be,” Steve admitted, wondering if now was a weird time to be having this conversation. He was pretty much fine, breathing back to normal and all that, but it’s not like they can just pretend that Billy didn’t find him on the floor having a breakdown. 

Billy looked like he had something to say, but wasn’t sure how to say it. It made Steve feel a little better than neither of them seemed to be very good at this. Billy, unless he was at a party or looking for attention, was kind of the strong silent type. Steve was a nervous talker and usually ended up going overboard. What a pair they would make. 

“I figured you didn’t want me touching you because of what went down that night at the Byers,” Billy said, words coming out kind of jumbled in his haste to get them out. 

Steve blanched. They didn’t talk about that night. Ever. 

“That was part of it,” Steve said. He wasn’t going to lie, but the way Billy winced made his heart clench. “Come on man, you weren’t the easiest dude to get along with in high school.”

Billy huffed a laugh. 

“I know...I’m sorry. About all of it. Especially that night. I-it wasn’t about you. I know that’s not an excuse, but you should know that it was never about you. And I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry,” Billy said seriously, eyes locked with Steve’s despite the defensive set of his jaw and shoulders. 

“I forgive you,” Steve said, like it was as easy as breathing. Hell, it was as easy as breathing. If Billy’s eyes were a little wet, neither of them said anything. 

“So, you wanna talk about what set you off? It’s okay if you don’t, but I’ve got beer and Doritos if you wanna,” Billy offered, already pulling the case of beer out from under his bed. Steve didn’t even ask where he had gotten it. He was still pretty salty that he’d lost his fake ID. One of the kids probably took it. Not that it would do them much good in Hawkins. 

“Nancy and Jonathan got engaged,” Steve grumbled as Billy passed him a beer. 

“Oh, damn. Didn’t think that skinny little weirdo had the balls to pop the question,” Billy said, back to his usually snarky self now that Steve wasn’t hyperventilating on the floor. Steve laughed, taking a swig off the bottle. 

“I didn’t think it would be so soon.”

Billy hummed. 

“Didn’t know you were still hung up on Wheeler,” he said casually, thumb tapping against the side of his own bottle. 

“I’m not,” Steve said quickly, eager to clear that up. “Honestly. It’s just that she was my first real relationship, ya know? And I’m glad she’s happy. But I saw the announcement on Facebook and it kind of sucked that she didn’t tell me before that so that I had a heads up. And like, it’s fine. Our relationship was bullshit. I was bullshit. According to her anyway,” Stave was rambling now, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. Luckily Billy chose that moment to reach forward and shove a Dorito into Steve’s open mouth to get him to shut up. Ordinarily Steve would be offended, but right now he was thankful. And a little turned on from Billy’s fingers brushing against his tongue. 

“Chew the chip, take a breath, and chill the fuck out,” Billy said, the look on his face serious despite the ridiculousness of his words. “Did she really say that? That you were bullshit?”

Steve nodded, swallowing the chip and washing it down with a long sip of beer. 

“The Halloween party. The one where you beat my keg stand record. She got drunk and told me that I was bullshit. Oh, and that she wasn’t really in love with me,” Steve told him. He was already baring his damn soul, no reason to stop now. 

Billy let out a whistle, letting his head fall back to rest against the bed. 

“Can’t believe you stayed friends with her after that,” he said. 

“Well, as much as I love hanging out with the kids, I needed a couple friends my own age. Jonathan and Nancy were there for me through some pretty fucked up stuff. I’m glad I have them, but sometimes it still stings. The rejection more than losing her,” Steve admitted. 

Billy’s phone buzzed before he could respond. His tongue caught between his teeth in a grin when he saw who it was. 

“I gotta go, Harrington. Booty call,” Billy said, popping a few buttons on his shirt and running a hand through his hair. 

“Right, uh...have fun. And thanks,” Steve said, trying to hide his disappointment.

“Don’t mention it.”

Billy paused with his hand on the door, glancing back over his shoulder. 

“For what it’s worth. You can do better than Wheeler,” he said, voice low enough to make Steve shiver. 

“You think so?” Steve asked. 

Billy nodded, eyes searching Steve’s for a moment before he was out the door, on his way to meet whoever. Steve sighed, dragging a hand down his face. He wondered if Billy would ever get easier to read. He doubted it. 

If Steve drank his way through most of Billy’s beer, that was his business. 

He left Billy the money for a new case two days later.


	6. Chapter Six

Things between Billy and Steve were good. Now that they had cleared the air, their friendship had become a lot more real. Billy talked about how the reason he was so uncomfortable around Susan was because he missed his real mom and he didn’t want Susan to think she could take his mother’s place. He talked about how when he first met Max he had no idea what to do or how to talk to her because what were preteen girls even into. Steve didn’t comment on how Billy never mentioned his dad except in passing. Billy was opening up to him and Steve would take whatever he could get if it meant getting to know him better. There was only one problem. 

The touching. 

Since Steve had told Billy that he didn’t mind when he touched him, the younger boy got a whole lot touchier. A hand on Steve’s back when he slid passed him to get to his desk, tousling Steve’s hair when he gave him shit for all the product he put in it, or knocking his foot against Steve’s under the table. And it’s fine, really it is, but it also drives Steve insane. It makes him want more. 

With Billy safely at his work study job for the next few hours, Steve opened his laptop and Facetimed Max. She answered quickly with an annoyed look on her face. 

“Steve, now isn’t really a-

“He won’t stop touching me!” Steve blurted. 

Max blinked at him, then frowned in confusion. 

“Okay, I don’t get it. First you complained that he wouldn’t touch you and now you’re complaining that he’s touching you too much?” she asked. 

Steve sighed. Now that he’d heard it out loud it did sound pretty ridiculous.

“I know. It’s stupid. I’m sorry Max, I shouldn’t have called you. I don’t know what I was thinking,” Steve said.

“It’s okay, Steve. It’s just-

“Tell him to make a move before we all die!”

Steve froze. That sounded an awful lot like Dustin. 

“Shut up! He’s not supposed to know we’re here!”

And that was definitely Lucas. 

Max was staring at Steve with wide, terrified eyes. 

“You’re not alone right now are you?” Steve asked, already suspecting what the answer would be. 

“I’m sorry Steve! I tried to tell you it wasn’t a good time!”

And yeah, she did try to tell him, so Steve couldn’t really be pissed at her. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“Is the whole party there?” he asked. 

Max flipped the phone around so Steve could see everyone and yep, that was the whole fucking party. Great. At least they all looked a little guilty. Except for Dustin, who looked like he kind of wanted to murder Steve. 

“I can’t believe you like that asshole,” Dustin whined. 

“Hey, that’s my brother you’re talking about,” Max said sharply. Huh. Something must have changed between the siblings over the summer because a year ago Max was ready to pummel Billy to death with a baseball bat. “And Steve I promise I didn’t tell them. They figured it out on their own. That’s how bad your pining is, by the way. We can feel is all the way in Hawkins.”

Great. If the kids had figured out from a couple thousand miles away that Steve had a crush on Billy, it was likely Billy had figure it out too. What’s a few feet apart compared two thousand miles? Which begged the question, if Billy had an inkling that Steve liked him, why hadn’t he said anything? Maybe he didn’t want to hurt Steve’s feelings. 

“I can see the smoke coming out of your ears, man. Stop thinking so hard,” Lucas said. 

“Yeah, you’ve got the best set up to get in his pants. I mean, you’re roommates,” Dustin  agreed, sounding a little less put out than he had before. 

“Dustin! T-that’s totally not a thought you should be having. You’re a child,” Steve said, gaping at him. 

Before Dustin could respond, Max flipped the camera back so it was facing her. 

“Look, it’s like I told you. Billy’s been through some shit. Go easy, but make a damn move. For all our sakes,” Max told him, offering a small encouraging smile. “Now go do something productive instead of staring at my brother’s ass. We’ve got a campaign going.”

Steve laughed, shaking his head. Damn he missed these kids. It was a only a few weeks until Christmas break and he had a feeling he’d be spending most of it driving them around everywhere they wanted to go and ordering pizza for movie nights. Not that he minded. They were more of a family to him than his own parents. 

A knock at the door made Steve jump. He had a few friends in a couple of his classes, but they mostly met up in the library to do homeworker occasionally carpool to a party. No one he knew would drop by unannounced. He opened the door slowly. There was a girl waiting on the other side, with long hair that was dyed bright green and a tight tube top that accentuated her curves. She was hot, that’s for sure. 

“Can I help you?” Steve asked. 

“Yeah, is Billy around?” 

“No, he’s at work.”

She looked disappointed, twirling an errant strand of hair around her finger. 

“We’re supposed to do a project together,” she explained, but from the glint in her eye, Steve figured she had more than the project in mind. Not that he blamed her. He’d be a fucking hypocrite if he did. He wondered if he should tell her she was barking up the wrong tree, but it seemed wrong to out Billy to a stranger. Sure, Billy had come out to Steve, but he knew the other boy didn't exactly broadcast his sexuality. 

“Sorry. I can tell him you stopped by. What’s your name?” Steve asked. 

“Kim,” she said, cocking a hip and giving Steve a slow up down. “You’re pretty cute too. What did they do, room you guys together cause you’re both hot?” she asked, grinning. 

Steve laughed, shaking his head. It had been a while since anyone had flirted with him so blatantly. It was kind of nice to feel wanted again. In another time, in another place, in another dimension where he wasn’t totally gone on his roommate, he might ask for her number. 

“I think it was alphabetical actually. Sorry to disappoint,” Steve said with a shrug. 

“Oh believe me, you don’t disappoint,” Kim said, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Tell Billy I stopped by, yeah?”

“Yeah. No problem,” Steve said, taking a step back into his room. 

“See you around, pretty boy.”

Steve blanched.  _ Pretty boy _ . No one called him that except for Billy. When Kim said it, it made him feel weird. When Billy said it, it made him feel...something else. Steve shook his head. This was getting out of hand. He needed to distract himself before he did something stupid like kiss Billy senseless the next time he walked through the door. 

The “something” Steve needed to do, turned out to be going to a party with Mark and Liza, a couple of kids from his math class. He’d hitched a ride in the backseat, with little concern for how he was going to get back. Everything had been fine, until Billy texted him not to wait up with a winky face emoji, which could only mean one thing; booty call. Which is why Steve was currently pounding whatever liquor had been shoved at him. 

He wandered around the apartment, realizing he had no idea who actually lived here. Mark and Liza hadn’t thought to mention whose party it was and Steve hadn’t bothered to ask. It was a nice place though. Aesthetically speaking anyway. It was far from homey though. High ceilings, cream colored walls, modern furniture. Everything about it screamed “my parents are paying for this and yeah you should envy me.” 

Steve found his way to one of the empty bedrooms and collapsed onto the bed, clutching a bottle of who knows what (whiskey maybe?) to his chest. If Billy wanted a booty call so bad, why didn’t he just ask Steve? Maybe he didn’t think Steve was attractive. Maybe when he called Steve pretty boy he didn’t mean anything by it. Now that was a depressing thought. Or maybe it was just the alcohol making everything seem worse than it actually was. Yeah, that’s it, Steve would just blame the booze. 

A couple stumbled through the door, giggling as they tugged at each other’s clothes. Until they noticed Steve and quickly tried for some sense of decorum. 

“Oops, sorry man. Didn’t realize anyone was in here,” the guy said, looking put out by Steve’s presence. 

When Steve made no move to get up and give them the room, the girl huffed, grabbing the guy by the front of the shirt and pulling him down the hall to the other guest room. Well, at least someone at this party was getting laid, Steve thought, taking another long sip off the bottle. Somewhere through the boozy fog in his brain, he decided it was a good idea to call Billy. He missed Billy. Billy was pretty. Billy should be in this bedroom with him right now. He pressed call on his phone. Drunk Steve was so smart. Sober Steve should be more like drunk Steve. 

“Harrington?” Billy asked when he answered. 

“Billy! Billy Hargrove! You picked up,” Steve slurred happily. 

“Of course I picked up. Dude...are you drunk?”

“Noooooo. Not drunk. Happy. I’m just, so happy. So happy you called.”

Billy chuckled. 

“You called me, Amigo. Think you might be drunker that you thought. Where are you?” Billy asked. 

Steve glanced around the bedroom. 

“M’ in a room. With a bed. High ceilings.”

“Okay, so I’m guess you’re at a party then. Who are you with?”

Even Steve’s drunk brain picked up on the fact that Billy sounded worried about him. He sighed, running a hand through his hair and making a total mess of it. 

“You’re so niiiiiiiice. Why are you so niiiiiiice to me?” Steve asked. 

“Come on, man. You gotta tell me where you are.”

Steve thought hard, trying to remember. 

“Mark and Liza drove. Not sure. High ceilings. White walls. Weird furniture. Don’t, uh, don’t like it,” Steve grumbled, poking at one of the decorative pillows next to his head. 

“Wait, are you at Joe’s?” Billy asked in surprise. 

Steve sighed a long put upon sigh. 

“I don’t  _ know _ . Mark and Liza didn’t saaaaaay.”

“Shit, hold on. I think I hear you,” Billy said, voice harder to hear now, like he was around a bunch of people. 

“Course you can hear me. That’s how phones work, Billy,” Steve said exasperatedly. 

The door opened a second later to reveal a very concerned looking Billy Hargrove. Steve sat up too fast, the whole room spinning. 

“Billy! You’re here!”

“Yeah, man, this is what I meant when I told you not to wait up. I was coming to  _ this _ party,” Billy explained and suddenly Steve felt a thousand times lighter. Billy hadn’t been going to meet a booty call. He’d been going to a party. So why did he send the winky face? Steve was way too drunk for this. It was too confusing. 

“Thought you were meetin your boooooooty call,” Steve slurred, pouting. 

Billy huffed, crossing his arms and shaking his head. 

“Nope. Not this time. Broke it off with him actually,” Billy said nonchalantly. 

Steve blinked up at him with wide eyes. 

“Why?” 

“None of your damn business, Harrington,” Billy spat and yup, now Steve’s bottom lip was trembling like he was gonna cry. Drunk Steve cried more than sober Steve. “Whoa, hey, don’t cry. I’m sorry I snapped okay. I just...I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“You’re not maaad at meeee?” Steve sniffled. 

“No. I’m not mad. We should probably get you back to the dorms though. You’re gonna be feelin it in the morning. The sooner you sleep the better,” Billy said, already helping Steve to his feet. 

Steve leaned heavily against Billy, letting the other boy half drag him out of the apartment building. It took him a second to realize he was being loaded into the passenger seat of  _ the _ Camaro. Billy’s prized possession. He’d done all the work on it himself and he was very proud, if the way he tore around Hawkins like a bat out of hell was anything to go by. He remembered all the girls Billy drove around and it made his stomach clench. Hawkins was a small town. Billy had to keep up appearances. Steve wondered how that made the other boy feel. He knew he was too drunk to put that question into words. 

Billy helped Steve back to the room, depositing him on the bed and setting a trash can next to it just as Steve had done when their roles were reversed. When Billy went to move away Steve panicked, his hand shooting out to grip the collar of Billy’s shirt. 

“Come on, pretty boy, just-

“Mmm, you always call me that, but-but I’m prettttty sure you don’t meeeean it,” Steve said, and yeah he was still slurring his words but he knew he was getting his point across. “Cause, cause if you did, I-I’d be your boooooty call.”

Billy’s eyebrows shot up, his fingers curling around Steve’s, trying to tug his hand away from his shirt. But Steve gripped tighter, yanking Billy so close their noses were almost touching. 

“F-From where I’m standing, uh, laying, yoooou’re the pretty one. With, with your stupid blue, so fucking blue, eyes. A-and your curls. And, fuck, just everything,” Steve said, nudging Billy’s nose with his. 

“You’re drunk. You wouldn’t be saying that if you were sober,” Billy said gently, finally managing to break Steve’s grip and put a little distance between the two of them. Steve made a noise of distress, making grabby hands at the other boy. 

“It’s truuuuuuuuue. You’re so pretttty, but, but, you don’t waaant me and that...that....that suuuuuuucks,” Steve whined covering his face with his hands and rolling away so his back was to Billy. 

Billy opened his mouth to respond, but Steve let out a soft snore, signalling that he was already passed the fuck out. Sighing, Billy tucked the blanket up over his sleeping roommate. He leaned forward, lips pressed close to Steve’s ear. 

“Sleep tight,  _ pretty boy _ .” 


	7. Chapter Seven

Steve woke with that fuzzy feeling that always accompanied a hangover, in his mouth. His head was pounding and his whole body felt heavy. Jesus, he was never drinking again. That was a lie. A lie that he told himself every time he had a hangover that made him feel like death warmed over. But at the moment, he was pretty sure he meant it. Whiskey. He should know better. Whiskey was what made him try to call Billy at Tommy’s graduation party. It would stand to reason that Whiskey was what made him call Billy this time too.  _ Billy _ . Suddenly Steve was wide awake, sitting up too fast and pressing the heel of his hand to his throbbing forehead. 

Oh, how Steve wished he had been drunk enough to forget everything that had happened. Everything he had  _ said _ . He told Billy he thought he was pretty. Even worse, he’d told Billy that it sucked that he didn’t feel the same way about Steve. Were the words, booty call, mentioned? Steve was pretty sure they were. He groaned, hiding his face in his hands and willing this all to be a horrible nightmare. 

It occurred to Steve that when he turned his head there was a distinct possibility that Billy would be there, watching him panic from his side of the room. Hesitantly, Steve spread his fingers just enough so that he could peak through them at Billy’s bed. It was empty. Small,  _ small _ , mercies. Steve took a breath. Before he started overthinking this to death, he needed aspirin and a shit ton of water. He slid off his bed, taking his time so he didn’t fall over. The room still seemed to be rocking back and forth a little more than he would like. Stupid whiskey. Stupid Billy. Stupid-

Steve’s internal monologue cut off when he noticed three bottles of water and a couple of aspirin waiting for him on his desk. Okay, fine, he took back the “stupid Billy” part. Until he saw the note underneath one of the bottles of water. Hastily scrawled on it, in Billy’s slightly messy hand, were the four most terrifying words in the english language. 

_ We need to talk _ . 

Yeah, that’s a no. A big fat no. They didn’t need to talk. They never needed to talk again. In fact, Steve needed to buy a plane ticket out of the country asap and yes, he knew he was being dramatic, but oh god, what if Billy hated him now? They were friends. Good friends. And, ugh, why was Steve such an idiot? Why did he have to get drunk and jeopardize things between them? 

Deciding there was nothing he could do until the aspirin kicked in, Steve curled up on his bed with one of the bottles of water and waited for his headache to subside, groaning when his phone rang. Seriously, what the hell was with people call him all the time? Last he checked it was 2019, not 1985. Why didn’t they text like normal people? 

“Someone better be dying,” he grunted when he answered.

“That’s some greeting, Harrington.”

Steve froze. Billy. Why, oh why, didn’t he check the name on his screen before he answered?

“Wow, I can feel you panicking through the phone. I wanted to make sure you got the aspirin and, ya know, that you weren’t dead,” Billy said, and Steve could hear the smile in his voice. That was a good sign right? If he was smiling then be probably didn’t hate Steve. Unless he was trying to lull him into a false sense of security. 

“I-I’m fine,” Steve managed.

“Cool...look, about last night-

Steve was hanging up the phone before he could even think about it. And of course, since Billy was one persistent mother fucker, he immediately called back. This time Steve ignored it. Maybe he was being a coward, but if Billy was gonna turn him down, then Steve needed to feel a little bit less like a zombie first. He was more likely to cry if he wasn’t at the full level of a functioning human being and he was NOT going to cry in front of Billy again. Not over something like this. Billy would feel guilty and Steve didn’t want him to feel guilty because it’s not like he could fault Billy for not liking him. You couldn’t help who you were attracted to. Or who you weren’t. 

After a long shower and a cup of coffee so big it bordered on excessive, Steve found himself hiding in the library. Studying, he told himself. He was there to study. He was absolutely not staying clear of his room at all costs. If his parents handled all their problems by never talking about them, then damn it, so could he. 

Steve doodled absently in his notebook, still lacking enough brain power to actually look over his notes for his quiz on Hamlet. It wasn’t until Wednesday. He still had plenty of time to cram when he hadn’t spent the night drinking more whiskey than any one person should ever imbibe. 

Content to stay safely tucked away in the study room, the only without the windows that other people could see in from any part of library, Steve let his mind wander back to the summer. There had been a real heat wave. The first one in Hawkins in years. 

_ “C’mon Steve, we’re dying. Can we please meet up at your place?” Dustin begged, giving Steve his best puppy dog pout.  _

_ “I see how it is. You only like me for my pool,” Steve said, pretending to be offended.  _

_ “You know that’s not true! It’s just that it’s hot and we might actually melt if we don’t- _

_ “I’m teasing, buddy. Of course you guys can meet here. My parents are out of here at eleven so, anytime after that.” _

_ The kids were there at five past. All of them but one.  _

_ “No Max?” Steve asked.  _

_ “She had to get a ride from her brother. She’ll be here a little later,” Lucas said, pushing past Steve and following the others out to the pool.  _

_ Steve had just gotten settled in one of the pool chairs, watching Mike try to knock Will off of Dustin’s shoulders while Eleven sat on the edge dangling her feet in the water, when he heard the unmistakable sound of the Camaro’s engine.  _

_ He hustled to the front of the house to let Max in, jumping when he saw that Billy had gotten out of the car and was standing next to her.  _

_ “Uh, okay... um...hi” Steve said awkwardly.  _

_ “Real articulate, Harrington,” Billy drawled.  _

_ Max rolled her eyes, but the punch she landed on Billy’s arm seemed almost affectionate, as opposed to pissed off. Billy huffed, ruffling her hair before she batted his hands away and ran into the house.  _

_ Steve took a second to really look at Billy as the other boy checked his phone. He was wearing a pair or red swim trunks, the uniform for the lifeguards at the Hawkin’s pool, and a white tank top with his Aviators clipped to the collar. But what really caught Steve’s eye, was the shiner he was sporting under his left eye.  _

_ “What happened to your face?” Steve asked. _

_ Billy’s head shot up from his phone, eyes wide as he scrambled for his sunglasses, like he’d forgotten the bruise was even there. He slid them up his nose quickly, sneer already in place.  _

_ “None of your fucking business, Harrington,” he spat before turning on his heel and sauntering back to his car.  _

_ Steve’s gaze had wandered to Billy’s ass for the first time in a long time. He tried not to think too hard about what it meant.  _

“You’re thinking awful hard in here.”

Steve flinched so hard his pencil went flying out of his hand, clattering loudly on the tile floor. He glanced up to see Kim, the girl who had knocked on his door looking for Billy, staring at him with an amused look on her face. 

“Uh, hey.”

“Hey yourself,” she said, smirking as she slipped into the seat across from him. “I didn’t catch your name last time we met.”

“Steve,” he said.

Kim gave him an up down. 

“Hmm. Yeah. You look like a Steve.”

Steve wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be a compliment or an insult and since he couldn’t think of anything to say, he turned his attention back to his notebook. He didn’t want to be rude, but he was currently in the middle of a pity party and he didn’t have the brain capacity for much else at the moment. He couldn’t help the sigh that slipped past his lips. 

“What’s her name?” Kim asked. 

“Huh?” Steve asked, confused. 

“The girl, or guy, or whoever, who has you sighing like that,” she said knowingly. 

Steve blinked at her. Well, wasn’t she perceptive. 

“Is it that obvious?” he asked sheepishly. 

“Please. Everything about you screams, I’m pining for someone utterly unattainable,” Kim told him, leaning back in her chair and kicking her boots up on the table. 

And suddenly Steve was telling her everything. Well, not  _ everything _ . He didn’t mention that the someone was Billy. But he told her about the party and the phone call and how he’d ended up telling the person that he thought they were pretty and how he wanted to be their booty call. Kim listened through Steve’s whole rant with zero judgement, nodding along and grimacing at the mention of whiskey. It wasn’t her usual drink of choice either. 

“Wait, so, they want to talk about it and you’re ignoring them? Seems a little chicken shit Stevo,” Kim said, clicking her tongue at him. 

“I know,” Steve whined. “I can’t face him, uh, them, yet.”

Kim laughed, shaking her head. 

“Dude, if you think for one second that I don’t know it’s your sex on legs roommate that you’re pining for, then I’m insulted you think so little of my intellect,” she said. She held up her hand, cutting off whatever Steve was about to interject with. “Save it. It’s cool. I’ll keep my mouth shut. But seriously, man, you can’t avoid him forever. I mean, you live together.”

Steve nodded, running and hand nervously through his hair. 

“You’re right. I know you’re right.”

“Damn right I am. And besides, why do you assume his response is gonna be negative? He might wanna jump your bones just as bad as you wanna jump his,” Kim reasoned. 

Steve huffed a laugh, shaking his head. 

“And hey, if it goes wrong, Christmas break is only a few weeks away. You won’t have to see each other for like four weeks,” she reasoned. 

It occurred to Steve that didn’t know if Billy was going back to Hawkins for Christmas or not. He hadn’t gone back for Thanksgiving, but maybe he’d go to see Max. Not to mention it was a pain to stay in the dorms over such a long break. You had to get special permission and sometimes card access was limited. 

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s true,” Steve pulled out his phone to check the time. Shit, he had like twenty missed calls. All from Billy. And apparently it was already past dinner time. Fuck, had he really been here that long? No wonder Billy had called him so many times. “I gotta go. Before he thinks I’m dead in a ditch somewhere,” Steve said, shoving his notebook in his bag and heading for the door. 

“Good luck!” Kim called after him. 

Steve threw a wave over his shoulder as he hurried out the door. As soon as he was outside he slowed down a little, taking his time getting back to his dorm. He took the stairs instead of the elevator. Sure, he didn’t want Billy to think he’d dropped off the face of the Earth, but that didn’t mean he was eager to have the conversation he knew Billy was waiting to have. He stood in front of his door, taking a deep breath before reaching for the handle. He didn’t have dime to unlock it because a second later the door was flying open to reveal a very distressed looking Billy. 

Billy’s eyes widened when he saw Steve and he paused in shrugging on his denim jacket. Steve noted that Billy had the keys to the Camaro in his hand and that he clearly wasn’t going anywhere important like a party because his hair was a mess. Billy recovered first, grabbing Steve by the front of his shirt and yanking him into their room, caging him in against the door as soon as it was closed. Steve’s bag fell to the floor, along with Billy’s keys. 

“Christ Harrington, did you forget how phones worked?” Billy demanded, eyes wild. 

“I-I lost track of time. Studying,” Steve lied. 

Billy’s eyes narrowed. 

“You’ve been avoiding me all day.”

Steve opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He stared down at his feet, willing the ground to open up and swallow him whole. Billy cursed softly. 

“You afraid of me?” he asked, voice quieter than Steve expected. 

“No,” Steve said honestly, still avoiding his eye. “Scared of what you’re gonna say.” 

“Yeah, I figured that much. I can’t believe you hung up on me earlier.”

“I panicked!”

Billy laughed, shaking his head as he curled his fingers under Steve’s chin, tilting the older boy’s face up so he could look in his eyes. Steve was surprised to find that Billy looked amused and that his eyes were...kind. Not disgusted in the least. 

“You did say some pretty interesting things last night. And from the way I can feel you shaking right now, I’m guessing it wasn’t just because you were drunk,” Billy mused, a playful glint in his eyes. 

Steve couldn’t breathe. Not with Billy this close. He may have had an inch or two on the other boy height, but it felt like Billy was towering over him, crowding into his space, and brushing his nose against Steve’s. 

“Billy, I-

Steve cut off when Billy slipped a thigh between his. 

“You think I’m pretty?” Billy asked, leaning so close their lips were almost touching. 

Steve nodded, finally finding a little bit of his old “King Steve” confidence and bringing his hand up to cup Billy’s cheek. 

“Think you’re beautiful,” he murmured. 

Billy’s cheeks were tinged pink, but the smirk that slid across his face, slow and syrupy, was anything but innocent. 

“You’re not so bad yourself,  _ pretty boy _ .”

Steve’s eyes fluttered shut, he head falling back against the door and his hands gripping Billy’s hips. 

“T-this what you m-meant when you said we needed to t-talk?” Steve stuttered. 

Billy pulled back a little, eyes searching Steve’s face. 

“Would you rather we were talking?” he asked, his words serious, but his eyebrow arched teasingly. 

Steve shook his head vehemently, using his grip on Billy’s hips to pull him closer so they were flush against each other. 

“Fuck no,” Steve breathed, closing the little space left between them and pressing his lips to Billy’s because fuck it, if Billy was offering then Steve sure as shit wasn’t gonna turn him down.  

Billy groaned against Steve’s mouth, easily taking control of the kiss and pressing Steve more firmly against the door. 

Steve’s brain was working on overdrive.  _ Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I’m kissing Billy Hargrove and it’s fucking amazing and oh god, I can feel his hard on on my hip. Fuuuuuck.  _

Billy kissed slow and deep and so  _ dirty _ it made Steve blush and his knees turn to jelly. And fuck past Steve for avoiding Billy all day when they could have been doing this so much sooner. They probably should be talking right now. Talking about what this is. What it means. But Steve’s having a hard time thinking about anything other than Billy’s tongue in his mouth and the slow grind of Billy’s hips against his. He was beyond thinking with his upstairs brain right now.  

When Billy slid one hand from Steve’s chest to the front of his jeans, rubbing over the bulge he found there, Steve’s hand flew to Billy’s hair, tugging hard. 

The reaction was immediate. Billy was breaking the kiss and gripping Steve’s wrist so hard Steve was pretty sure he was gonna have a bruise. For a second he thought it was because it turned Billy on, until he noticed the fear in the other boy’s eyes. Steve quickly uncurled his fingers from Billy’s hair and settled his hand on his neck instead, his thumb running soothingly over the column of his throat. 

“I’m sorry. Hey, it’s okay. I-I didn’t-

Billy cut him off, shaking his head. 

“S’okay, you can touch my hair, just...just don’t pull okay?” he asked, sounding small. 

Steve nodded, stepping back into Billy’s space, and pressing a soft kiss, an apology kiss, to the corner of his mouth. Billy hummed softly and Steve knew he was forgiven, stumbling slightly when Billy shoved him into his desk chair, easily straddling Steve’s lap. His fingers were at the button of Steve’s jeans, asking a silent question. Steve nodded, probably a little too eagerly, shoving Billy’s jacket out of the way so he could get at his skin. He bit down on Billy’s shoulder as the boy slipped his hand down the front of Steve’s pants. 

“Fuck, Harrington. Knew you were a big boy, but damn,” Billy murmured, cursing when Steve started licking and sucking at the bite. 

Steve was so caught up in Billy’s warm fingers wrapped around him, he’d somehow overlooked the fact that Billy was hard too. Hard and probably aching to be touched. Eager to remedy the situation, he practically ripped Billy’s jeans open so he could get his hand on the other boy. His mouth went dry when he saw that Billy wasn’t wearing anything underneath. 

“I guess I’m not surprised you go commando,” Steve teased, giving Billy a couple of firm strokes that had the other boy’s eyes rolling back in his head and his hips thrusting forward to meet Steve’s hand. “Y-yeah. That’s it. Fuck my hand,” Steve muttered, a small smile on his lips as Billy obeyed. 

“N-not so shy now, are you?” Billy mused. 

Steve laughed, but it ended in a groan when Billy’s hand sped up, bringing him close to the edge way too fucking fast. 

“H-hard to b-be shy with your h-hand on my dick, oh fuck,” Steve grunted, tucking his face against the crook of Billy’s neck to nibble at him again. 

“Mmm, you keep d-doing that and, ah! I’m gonna come,” Billy groaned. And fuck, if that was supposed to deter Steve or make him slow down, it had the opposite effect because right now he wanted nothing more than to see the look on Billy’s face when he came. 

“I want you to. Want you to come for me. Come on, Billy,  _ please, _ ” Steve begged, ignoring his own pleasure in favor of watching Billy. 

Billy was apparently all for that idea because three strokes later he was coming hard over Steve’s fist, his jaw going slack and a pretty moan slipping past his lips as he curled in on himself. It was the hottest thing Steve had ever seen. 

Before he had even recovered, Billy was sliding out of Steve’s lap and onto his knees, sucking the head of Steve’s cock into his mouth with zero hesitation. Steve’s hips jolted and he barely managed to keep from grabbing at Billy’s hair. He settled for clawing at Billy’s shoulders, because fuck, he needed to hold onto something while Billy went to town on his dick. 

“B-Billy, I’m gonna come,” Steve warned so Billy could pull off. The other boy sped up instead, pulling off enough to swirl his tongue around the head and then Steve was coming harder than he had come in his life. When he was spent Billy pulled off, swiping his thumb across his chin, wiping off the drop of come that hadn’t quite landed in his mouth. 

Steve hauled Billy back into his lap, kissing him soundly, chasing the taste of himself on the other boys tongue. Billy grinned at Steve when he pulled back, ruffling his hair and pressing a sloppy kiss to his cheek. 

“And you thought I didn’t want you.”


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, I got my degree in Theatre and I had to read Hamlet so many times for several different classes. Now seemed like a good time to put it to good use. Just in case you thought that Hamlet couldn't be sexy...think again.

They weren’t dating. 

They were just having fun. 

Keeping it light. 

_ “Come on, Harrington. Let’s not talk it to death, yeah? We start talkin, shit gets complicated, messy, and all that. No labels.” _

It was Billy’s idea. And honestly, for now that was enough for Steve. If it meant he got to spend hours kissing Billy senseless, he was totally down. 

Steve learned quickly that Billy loved kissing. In fact he was pretty sure the other boy loved kissing even more than he loved when Steve’s hand was in his pants, curled around his cock and jerking him hard and fast. He would lick his way into Steve’s mouth, groaning with every slide of their tongues, and whenever Steve broke for air Billy would whine at the loss of his mouth. But he always made up for it by trailing kisses down Billy’s neck and nipping at the juncture where his neck and shoulder met. 

That was another thing. Billy loved when Steve marked him, but not as much as he loved marking Steve. Steve had all the friggin bites to prove it. Bites on every knob of his spine, one or two speckled across his ribs, and God, the one on the inside of his thigh from when Billy had unexpectedly dropped to his knees and proceeded to suck Steve’s soul out through his dick. Jesus, the boy had a talented mouth that made Steve go weak in the knees. 

Steve was jolted from his thoughts of Billy and his wicked tongue when his professor called on him for his opinion of Hamlet. Shit. 

It’s not that Steve hadn’t read it. He’d read it more than once. But seriously, who even understood what the hell Shakespeare was talking about? He rattled off some bullshit that seemed to satisfy his professor, but was left feeling no more confident about his upcoming final. The quiz he’d studied for had gone okay, but his professor had made it clear that it was just a warm up and that the final would be much more in depth. So, as usual, Steve was fucked. 

“What’s got your panties in a bunch, Princess?” Billy asked, huffing against Steve’s neck as the other boy batted his hands away from where they were currently trying to slide up the front of his shirt. He was sitting at his desk,  _ trying _ to study, but Billy had snuck up behind him and attacked his neck with his teeth. Unfortunately, Steve was so stressed about his final, he couldn’t get himself in the mood. 

“Nothing, I just...I have to study,” Steve said lamely, not wanting to admit that he was too stupid to understand Hamlet, no matter how many times he read it. 

Billy sighed, moving around Steve to plunk his ass down on his desk, directly on top of Steve’s notes. 

“What’s so important that it can’t wait until after you blow me?” Billy asked, tongue caught between his teeth as he grinned at the other boy. 

Steve blushed, shaking his head. Billy was a straight A student without even trying. It was embarrassing to admit that he wasn’t as smart as the younger boy. Billy seemed to realize that Steve was actually struggling, his expression softening as he pulled Steve’s notes out from under his ass to look them over. 

“Hamlet, huh?” Billy mused. 

Steve nodded. 

“You need help understanding it?” Billy asked, not unkindly. Steve’s blush darkened and Billy sighed. “Hey, don’t sweat it, Harrington. Shakespeare’s tough. He was a wordy dude and half this shit wouldn’t make sense in the world today.”

“You get it though, right? I mean, it makes sense to you?” Steve asked. 

“Don’t worry about it making sense to me. Let’s make sure it makes sense to you, okay? We can start with the, to be or not to be, speech,” Billy said, and just like that he was reading the speech to Steve and asking him questions about which parts confused him and helping him figure out what the point Shakespeare was trying to get across was. 

About an hour in, Steve was getting antsy from sitting still for so long. Billy was still sitting on his desk, reading the Hamlet and Ophelia scene to him again. Smirking, Steve slid forward in his chair and casually placed a hand on either of Billy’s thighs. The other boy jumped, pausing in his reading. 

“Keep going,” Steve said, looking at him innocently, even as his fingers tugged at the button of the other boy’s jeans. 

Billy shifted enough to help Steve drag his jeans down to his ankles, then went back to reading. Steve nibbled his bottom lip, barely suppressing a groan. Commando. As always. 

“My honored lord, you know right well you did, mmm,” Billy broke off when Steve started nipping at his thighs, laving each bite with his tongue, not stopping until Billy’s legs were shaking with every pass of his tongue. 

“I’m not sure I get it. I think you’ll have to keep reading,” Steve teased, wrapping his fingers around the base of Billy’s dick and pressing his tongue flat against the head. 

“F-fuck, Harrington, mmm, uh...A-and with them, words of s-so sweet breath composed, as made the t-things-ah!- more rich. Their p-perfume lost,” Billy stuttered, barely making it through the lines as Steve took him deeper. 

Steve hummed in amusement at Billy slowly losing his composure, the vibrations making Billy’s hips stutter, wriggling against the hold Steve had on his hips to keep them in place. Steve bobbed his head a few times, realizing that Billy had stopped reading, in favor of throwing his head back, biting hard on his knuckles. Ignoring Billy’s whine of protest, Steve pulled off. 

“I’m reeeeeeal worried about my grade,” Steve said, working his hand over Billy in loose strokes that he knew were driving the other boy insane. “How am I ever gonna pass if you don’t keep reading to me?”

Billy glared down at him, teeth clenched as he flipped the page, continuing Ophelia’s speech. Hell if he was gonna give Steve the satisfaction of hearing him beg, even if he needed to come so bad it was starting to ache. 

“Take these again, for to the noble mind--shit!” Billy cursed, one hand flying down to tangle in Steve’s hair as the boy started to deep throat him. “I-I’m gonna come,” Billy warned, almost crying when Steve pulled off again. 

“Not until you finish Ophelia’s line. Come on Billy, you’re almost done,” Steve swirled his tongue around the head of Billy’s cock, smirking when he felt the other boy’s hand tighten in his hair. Unlike Billy, Steve loved having his hair pulled. God, he was so hard himself now, his jeans were getting uncomfortable. 

“Rich gifts wax poor when givers p-prove unkind,” Billy hissed, and Steve had a feeling that bitter little remark was directed at him, not Hamlet. “T-there, my lord,” Billy finished, practically slamming the book shut and throwing it onto Steve’s desk. 

Done playing around now, Steve doubled his efforts, taking Billy as deep as his could, groaning when Billy’s other hand joined the first, tugging hard at his hair. The vibrations were enough to send Billy over the edge, letting out a half choked moan, an errant curl falling over his eye as he threw his head back and came hard. 

Steve held him in his mouth through the aftershocks, waiting until the younger boy was spent before he pulled off, rubbing Billy’s thighs to soothe their shaking. 

“Fuck,” Billy cursed when he’d caught his breath. “You’re a fucking tease.”

Steve laughed, pressing up to kiss Billy soundly, licking at his bottom lip the way he knew Billy liked. 

“You liked it,” he said knowingly. 

Billy’s eyes trailed down Steve’s body, eyeing the bulge in his jeans. 

“Yeah? Well now it’s my turn.”

And oh God, Steve knew that look. Billy was gonna have him begging to come by the time he was finished with him. 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Steve was running. Faster than he had to run in a long time. He didn’t know where he was. A lab maybe? Yeah, it looked like a lab. Long sterile white hallways, doors on every side. A loud shriek sounded behind him. Shit, they were getting closer. Where the hell was his bat?! Where the hell were the kids?! Fuck, he needed a plan. He needed a place he could think. The door of the next room on the right was open. Steve ducked inside, locking it behind him and hurrying to the other side of the room, pressing himself against the wall, as far from the door as he could get. 

A buzzing sound made him jump, but he realized it was just his phone, vibrating in his pocket. He yanked it out of his pocket and answered quickly. 

“Dustin?” he hissed. 

“Steve! Thank god you’re okay. I-I’m alone. I got separated from the others and, shit Steve, I can hear them coming,” Dustin stuttered. 

“Okay. Okay, buddy. Just try to stay calm okay? Are you still in the lab?” Steve asked, trying to keep himself calm like he’d told the kid to do. 

“Yeah. I’m on the second floor. Third door on the left.”

Steve thought for a moment. He was on the second floor too. Third door on the right. That meant Dustin was in the room across from him. Okay, that was good. He wouldn’t be hard to get to. 

“I’m right across from you. I-I’ll come to you okay so just, stay there.”

“Okay. I’ll--oh shit! Steve, they broke through the wall. What do I do?” Dustin yelled. 

“Get out! Get out of there! I’ll meet you in the hall! Go!” 

Steve ran to the door, but it wouldn’t open. He couldn’t get the lock to budge. He looked out the window just in time to see Dustin get taken to the ground by a demodog, it’s face opening wide and it’s teeth sinking into the kid’s shoulder. 

“No! No! Fuck! Dustin! Please, please!” Steve screamed, wailing on the door, slamming his fists against it. It was no use. He was powerless to do anything but watch as the kid screamed in pain, trying to push the demodog off of him. But he wasn’t strong enough. 

This couldn’t be happening. No fucking way. Dustin couldn’t be dead. It wasn’t fair. That wasn’t how this worked. He was just a kid. 

A voice floated into Steve’s ear and he whipped around, trying to find the source. 

“Wake up. Come on Steve, you’ve gotta wake up,” the voice said, soft but urgent in his ear. 

Wake up? That didn’t make any sense. He was awake. Wasn’t he?

“Please, god, Steve just open your eyes. It’s a dream. You’re dreaming.”

Steve’s eyes flew open and he sat up so fast the room spun. The bright lights of the lab were gone. The shrieks of the demodogs had subsided. He was in his room. In his bed. 

“Take it easy. Breathe, okay? Just breathe.”

Billy, Steve realized. That was Billy’s voice. That was Billy crouched next to his bed with his hand on Steve’s back. That was Billy looking at him with wide eyes. And just like that, the flood gates opened. Steve grabbed for Billy, locking his arms around him and hiding his face in the curve of his neck as sobs wracked his body. 

“Easy, babe. Easy. I’ve got you. You’re safe,” Billy murmured, lips pressed against Steve’s hair as he held Steve’s back just as fiercely. When Billy shifted, Steve panicked, trying to pull the other boy even closer. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise. Let me--

He cut off, carefully pushing Steve back enough so he could climb into the bed next to him, holding the still shaking boy to his chest and whispering soothing words to try to calm him down. 

“Guess this is why you never sleep,” Billy mused when Steve’s sobs had subsided. He felt the other boy laugh wetly against his neck, nodding. 

“Y-yeah. I, um, have nightmares,” Steve said, wiping at his eyes and suddenly embarrassed that he was holding onto Billy like he was the only thing keeping him tethered to the Earth. Hell, maybe right now he was. 

“You wanna talk about it?” Billy offered, his fingers dancing along the curve of Steve’s spine. 

“I...I can’t. And honestly, even if I could, I can promise that you really don’t wanna know. Just, uh, a lot of shit went down in Hawkins last year. And the year before that,” Steve told him. It felt good to talk about it a little, even if he couldn’t give much detail. 

“Is it about that thing in the fridge at the Byers house?” Billy asked nonchalantly. 

Steve pushed himself away from Billy, staring down at the other boy with wide eyes. 

“H-how do you-

“Was lookin for my keys. When I woke up after, ya know, being sedated. Wouldn’t be the first time Max hid my keys in the fridge. Little shit,” he grumbled, but it sounded more affectionate than angry. 

“How are you so calm? You saw the demodog in the fridge and you never brought it up? Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you-

“Because, it’s like you said. I really didn’t want to know,” Billy said calmly, shrugging. 

Steve slowly laid back down, curling himself around Billy again. He drummed his fingers on Billy’s chest. 

“I’ll tell you about it. Not right now, but someday,” Steve said quietly. 

“Whenever you’re ready, pretty boy. Now go the fuck to sleep,” Billy whispered, pressing a kiss to Steve’s forehead and wrapping his arms around him. 

It was the first time they’d slept in the same bed. That was part of the whole, no labels, keeping it casual thing. But Billy stayed and Steve knew it was because he wanted him to feel safe. And honestly, who wouldn’t feel safe wrapped in Billy Hargrove’s big strong arms? Steve fell asleep that night to the sound of Billy’s heartbeat, thrumming rhythmically under his ear. 

Things were good. 

Until they weren’t. 


	9. Chapter Nine

“So, just to clarify. You’re flying in tomorrow, the twentieth of December, just like you promised? And we’re picking you up at the airport at noon, right?” Dustin asked excitedly over the phone. 

“Yep. You got it,” Steve said, laughing. He’d told Dustin the plan a million times, but it’s like the kid was waiting for him to cancel. Which was kind of fair since he flaked on Thanksgiving, but those were extenuating circumstances. His parents had bought him his ticket, but made it clear they couldn’t pick him up from the airport because they would be out of the country until Christmas eve. Thank god their car would be waiting for him in the driveway so that he didn’t have to bum rides off people the whole time he was there.

Luckily, Joyce had immediately offered to pick him up, and Dustin of course wanted to come along. He was more excited to see his kids, because who was he kidding they were definitely  _ his _ kids, than to see his parents anyway. 

“And is a certain mullet haired roommate going to be joining you,” Dustin asked suspiciously. 

Steve sighed. That was kind of a sore subject. When he’d casually asked Billy if he was planning on going back to Hawkins for Christmas Billy had actually laughed in Steve’s face.  _ “Fuck no,” _ were the only words he was willing to say on the subject. And since then Billy had been in a shit mood so Steve wasn’t eager to bring it up again.

“Nope. Just me,” Steve said, trying not to sound too disappointed. Despite the whole “no labels” thing they had going on, he’d gotten Billy a present. It wasn’t anything big, just something he saw that made him think of the other boy. Not like he had spent hours on Etsy trying to find the perfect gift...okay...so maybe he spent a little time on Etsy. The idea popped into his head and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about it until he bought the damn present and if that confirmed what Steve already knew, that he was head over heels for his dumb, beautiful, roommate, then so be it. 

“Oh, hang on, Max is reaching for the phone. She wants to--Jesus, Max, I’ll hand you the phone, stop trying to rip it out of my hand!” Dustin spazzed. 

“Steve?” Max asked once the phone was in her possession. 

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“No luck convincing my dumbass brother to come home with you?”

“Sorry, kid. I tried,” Steve said, feeling guilty. 

“It’s okay. I get why he doesn’t want to come back here, I just...I miss him,” She admitted quietly, making Steve feel even worse. Before Steve could respond, she was speaking again. “Also, um, the party doesn’t think I should tell you this, but I think you deserve to know.”

And okay, that was ominous. Steve could hear the rest of the kids shouting in protest in the background. 

“What is it?” Steve asked, feeling nervous. 

“Well, we hadn’t heard from you in a little while and we were worried so, um, we had El check on you and...we know you and Billy are together,” Max said sheepishly. 

Steve felt his cheeks burn bright red as he hoped and prayed to every God out there that El had only seen them kissing. He did not want to be responsible for scarring a fourteen year old girl who had already had her fair share of traumatic experiences. 

“She saw you guys kiss,” Max said quickly, as if guessing Steve’s worries. “And we’re happy for you. We really are.”

“Thanks. We’re not together though. No labels and all that,” Steve said. Saying the words out loud kind of hurt, but he figured it was better to be honest. 

“What? Oh my god, ten bucks says that was my stupid brother’s idea,” Max grumbled. 

“It doesn’t matter. It’s cool. I, uh, I gotta go. I’ll see you guys tomorrow, okay?” 

“Okay. We’ll see you soon,” Max said, shouting something to Dustin right before she hung up. 

Steve had of course saved all his packing for the last minute. He hastily shoved his clothes, all the warmest ones he had because Hawkins was a hell of a lot colder than Los Angeles, into his duffel bag. He was running through his itinerary in his head and honestly, screw his parents for booking him a 9AM flight. Sure it didn’t seem too late, but since he was flying out of LAX, the busiest fucking airport in the world, he had to get there like three hours early to make sure he had enough time to make it through security. Billy’s present lay, crudely wrapped, next to Steve’s bag. Steve nibbled his lip. Did he give it to him or did he hide it in a drawer forever and pretend he wasn’t way more into Billy than Billy was into him?

The door opened a minute later, Billy storming in looking pissed as all hell. Steve quickly tucked the gift under his pillow to keep it out of sight. 

“Uh, hey. Bad day?” Steve asked, watching as Billy practically hurled his backpack onto the  bed. It slammed hard against the wall, bouncing once and then sliding to the floor next Billy’s desk. Well, that wasn’t a good sign. 

“Fuck off,” Billy said sharply, plunking heavily down on the edge of his bed and dragging his hands through his hair and shaking his head. 

Steve blanched, taking a second to really look at Billy. His shoulders were pulled up defensively, his fingers curled into fists at his sides and he kept taking these long slow deep breaths, his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to calm himself down. Taking a hesitant step forward, Steve placed a gentle hand on Billy’s knee. The other boy swatted it away immediately. 

“Don’t touch me,” he spat. 

Steve put his hands up in defense. 

“Okay. Okay, I won’t. I just, I-I wanted to make sure you were okay,” Steve said quietly. 

Billy laughed, a harsh sounding thing that reminded Steve of the way he used to laugh on  the basketball quart when he knocked Steve to the floor. He hadn’t heard that laugh in a long time. 

“Do I fucking looking okay?” Billy asked. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Steve pressed. He hadn’t seen Billy like this in a long time. He looked angry, but there was something underneath it too. Fear maybe? 

“No,” Billy snarled, getting to his feet and pacing back and forth across their room like a caged animal.

Steve was getting desperate now. Billy looked like he was torn between punching the wall and bursting into tears and honestly, he wasn’t sure which was worse. He’d never seen Billy cry before and he was pretty sure the other boy wanted to keep it that way. 

“Please. Please, tell me what’s wrong,” Steve pleaded. 

“What’s it to you, Harrington? What, you wanna make sure I’m okay enough to suck your dick later?”

Okay, that one hurt. Enough to make the worry that had been clouding Steve’s brain shift into something closer to anger, because no matter what Billy was going through, he didn’t get to be mean. He didn’t get to start treating Steve like dirt. That wasn’t fair. 

“Jesus, Billy, I’m worried cause I fucking care about you okay? I’m allowed to be worried about my boyfriend!” Steve snapped. 

As soon as the words left his mouth he froze. Boyfriend. He said boyfriend. The forbidden word. He knew he had fucked up the second Billy rounded on him, eyes blazing. 

“Boyfriend? We’re not boyfriends, Harrington.”

“I-I know that, Billy. I do, I-I just-

“Just what? Wanna take me on dates? Wanna hold my hand, spread a blanket out, and  look for shooting stars,” Billy asked, his lip curling cruelly. “I’m not some bitch, Harrington. You wanna be all lovey dovey, go back to Wheeler.”

Steve could feel his heart beginning to crack. Billy didn’t mean that. He knew he didn’t mean that. Because if he was really just a booty call to the other boy, then why would he bother holding Steve when his nightmares woke him up screaming and terrified? Why would he help Steve with his homework? Why would he let Steve card his fingers through his curls and kiss him slow and deep until neither of them could breathe?

“I just wanted you to know that someone cares about you,” Steve said, voice barely above a whisper. His earlier anger was already dissipating as a pit settled in his stomach. He’d only just gotten to have Billy and now he was pretty sure he was losing him. 

“You know what, I can’t do this. I’m out of here,” Billy said, grabbing his jacket and his keys and heading for the door. He paused with his hand on the knob. “In case it wasn’t clear. Whatever this was. It’s done. I’m never gonna be your boyfriend, Harrington,” Billy spat, wrenching the door open and letting it slam behind him. 

For once, Steve didn’t cry. His head was reeling from how quickly things had fallen apart. Last night he’d had Billy spread out under him, fighting back the urge to come as Steve stroked him just the way he liked and mapped out his body with his tongue. Something had to have happened. Steve had no idea what. But something made Billy pull a complete one eighty. All he knew was that he was glad he was going back to Hawkins. Four weeks away from Billy would give them both time to get their heads on straight. 

Steve hated that he still waited up for Billy to come home. He should be sleeping. He had to get up at the crack of dawn to get to the airport. But there he was, laying in bed wide awake at one in the morning, waiting for his not boyfriend, not  _ anything _ apparently, to get back to the room. He could feel his eyelids drooping and by two o’clock he had given up. If Billy wasn’t going to come back before Steve left, then he damn well needed to catch what little sleep he could. 

He didn’t dream. Small mercies. But it wasn’t the good kind of sleep either. As Steve sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes in the still dark room, he knew it was gonna be a long day. But his kids were waiting for him in Hawkins and that thought made his newly shattered heart beat just a little easier. He sighed, sliding out of bed and tugging on the clothes he had laid out for himself the night before. 

“Steve?”

He jumped, whirling around to see Billy, already on his feet and learning against his own bed. Even in the dark he could tell that the other boy looked guilty. Steve leaned over and switched on his lamp, squinting at the sudden brightness. Billy’s posture was still on edge, but his breathing was easier. Calmer. Steve swallowed. Billy had used his first name. It was rare. Usually only reserved for when Steve had his mouth around Billy’s dick. He waited, but the younger boy seemed to have no idea what to say. 

Steve watched Billy fiddle with the hem of his shirt. He looked nervous. Steve had never seen Billy look nervous before. He wanted to wrap his arms around the other boy and tell him that it was okay. But he couldn’t. Not with his heart in pieces. He needed to leave. But not before he told Billy the words that he’d been holding back for what seemed like forever. Because even if Billy didn’t feel the same way, he needed the other boy to know. He needed him to understand there was someone out there who...

“I-I didn’t--” Billy started. 

“I love you,” Steve said, cutting off whatever Billy had been about to say. 

Billy’s head shot up, his eyes locking with Steve’s and his jaw dropping. Like the idea of someone being in love with him hadn’t occurred to him. It broke Steve’s heart that much more. 

“I-

Steve shook his head, taking a minute to pull on his shoes and sling his bag over his shoulder before he turned back to Billy. 

“I love you,” he said again, looking the other boy straight in the eye. “But I have to go now or I’m gonna miss my flight. I’ve got a troupe of kids counting on me being home for Christmas and...and I think some time apart is good for us. Good for me. Because the truth is, no labels isn’t enough for me. A-and if that’s all you want then I can’t be that for you. I can’t do bullshit. Not this time. Not with you,” Steve said seriously. 

Billy opened his mouth to speak again, but Steve held up his hand. 

“Don’t say anything. Not now. I’m exhausted and I’ve got a long ass day ahead of me. I’ll...I’ll see you when I get back,” Steve told him, offering a weak smile. He was about to head for the door when he remembered Billy’s present, hiding safely under his pillow. Well, he was already laying it all out there. No reason to stop now. One look at the gift and Billy would know how far gone on him Steve was. 

Steve grabbed the gift, trying not to feel shitty about how badly he had wrapped it, and offered it to Billy. The younger boy took it, confusion etched into his features. 

“Merry Christmas,” Steve murmured. 

And then he was gone. 


	10. Chapter Ten

“STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!”

Steve had just stepped through the gate when he was tackled by a mass of curly hair. Yup. That would be Dustin. He laughed, ruffling the kids hair and hugging him back. 

“So, uh, did you miss me?” Steve teased. 

Dustin pulled back, grinning up at him. 

“You’re damn right I did. Seriously dude, California is too far,” Dustin told him, honest to god pouting. Steve was about to respond when he noticed Joyce hanging back behind Dustin. She smiled warmly, giving him a small wave as she came forward to pull him in for a hug. Joyce gave the best hugs. They always made him feel safe. His own mother wasn’t much of a hugger. 

“You doin okay honey?” Joyce asked, voice quiet so only he would hear. 

“Yeah. I mean...not really...but for now, yes,” Steve said, knowing that didn’t really make much sense. He really didn’t want to get into it in the middle of the airport cause he knew he would start crying. He’d been working on autopilot since he left Billy back in their dorm room, moving through the airport like a zombie, barely sleeping on the plane. He didn’t have to plaster on a plastic smile or fake his excitement to see Dustin though. He’d missed the kid so much. 

Joyce pulled back, giving him a knowing look and squeezing his shoulder.  _ It’ll all work out honey _ . God he loved her. 

The car ride to his place was filled mostly with Dustin talking animatedly about school and some girl in one of his classes that he had a crush on but had zero idea how to talk to. 

“I took your advice, but I don’t think it worked,” Dustin told him. 

“What advice?” Joyce asked, driving a little faster than necessary past the old Hawkins lab. Things had been quiet, but that didn’t mean any of them were fans of the associations they had with said lab. Especially Joyce. 

“Oh, back when I liked, uh,  _ someone _ , Steve told me I just had to act like I didn’t care,” Dustin explained. 

Steve cleared his throat nervously. 

“Uh, I never said that,” he said, trying to cover his own ass. 

“What? Yes you did. You said acting like you don’t care drives girls nuts”

Steve had been in Hawkins for less then a half hour and he was already ready to strangle Dustin. That didn’t bode well for the rest of his time here. To be fair, he’d given him that advice right after he and Nancy had broken up. He wasn’t exactly in the best headspace to being giving advice on anything, let alone dating. 

“Steve...honey...I love you, but that’s the worst dating advice I’ve ever heard,” Joyce said with a laugh. “Girls just want you to be honest. Be yourself. Take  _ my _ advice and you might actually get somewhere.”

Dustin was quiet for the rest of the ride, seemingly mulling over this new found wisdom. Steve stared out the window as his house came in to view, frowning at the unfamiliar car in his driveway next to his parent’s BMW. Before he could ask who is was, Dustin was practically dragging him out of the car and up to the door, Joyce following close behind. 

“Dude, slow down! What’s-

Dustin flung the door open. 

“SURPRISE!”

Steve’s eyes widened. The whole party was waiting for him. El and Will were holding up a big sign that said “WELCOME BACK STEVE” in big colorful letters. Mike, Lucas, and Max were all blowing into noisemakers. Hopper, Nancy, and Jonathan hung back a little, letting the kids have their moment and trying to contain their laughter at the shocked look on Steve’s face. 

“See. Told you we missed you,” Dustin said, punching Steve in the arm good naturedly. 

After copious amounts of hugs and the kids giving Steve endless amounts of shit for ditching out on Thanksgiving, which he vowed never to do again because jesus one guilt trip was enough, Joyce and Hopper ushered the kids into the living room to start in on the pizza. That left Steve in the entry way with Nancy and Jonathan. 

Steve smiled, a _genuine_ smile at the newly engaged couple, stepping forward and pulling them both into a hug. It was a little weird for a second since neither of them had been expecting it, but Nancy tucked her face into Steve’s neck while Jonathan hooked his chin over Steve’s shoulder. 

“Welcome back, man,” he said, patting Steve on the back as they pulled away. 

“Thanks. You too. I can’t believe you popped the question. You must have been scared shitless,” Steve teased, though not unkindly. 

Jonathan laughed, shaking his head. 

“Yeah, it wasn’t pretty,” he admitted. 

Nancy had been oddly quiet during the exchange, just listening to the two of them talk. She put a gentle hand on Jonathan’s arm. 

“Babe, do you mind if I talk to Steve alone for a minute?” she asked. 

Jonathan nodded, smiling and pressing a quick kiss to her forehead before heading to the living room with the rest of the party. Nancy gestured for Steve to follow her, heading through the kitchen and out to the backyard. Steve shivered, pulling his coat tighter around him. He had been spoiled by the Los Angeles heat and his body had become unaccustomed to the cold temperatures in Hawkins. Nancy on the other hand looked completely unbothered, which was fair since New York was even colder than Hawkins. 

“So...how are you?” Nancy asked, arms crossed over her chest and fingers tugging at the sleeves of her light pink sweater. 

Steve considered lying, but he knew Nancy would see right through his bullshit. She always had. 

“Not great,” he admitted, stuffing his hands in his pockets and kicking at the ground. 

“I-Is is because of...” she trailed off, her fingers twisting the small silver ring on her left hand. 

Steve shook his head. It made sense that Nancy would assume he was cut up about her and Jonathan’s engagement, but that shipped sailed when he kissed Billy for the first time. He knew who he wanted and it wasn’t Nancy. Not anymore. 

“No. I’m happy for you, Nance. Really, really happy,” he said honestly, smiling at her even though he knew if didn’t reach his eyes.

“Then what is it? You can tell me, Steve. We’re still friends,” Nancy told him, zero judgement on her face. Steve had always liked that about Nancy. She was always willing to listen to his problems. No matter how stupid they were. 

“I’m in love,” Steve blurted out. 

Nancy blinked in surprise, but didn’t say anything, just nodded for him to keep going. 

“And...and he doesn’t love me back. At least, I don’t think he does? But who knows because he’s so nice to me and he like, talked me through a panic attack and he didn’t laugh in my face when I said I wanted to go into nursing. But I don’t know because when I left I wouldn’t let him talk because I was afraid of what he was gonna say which I know is like, super cowardly, but I had a plane to catch and I wasn’t about to miss it and disappoint the kids and-

“Hey, Steve. Take a breath,” Nancy ordered, putting her delicate hands on Steve’s shoulders, her gentle touch somehow managing to keep him grounded. 

“Sorry. I’m good. I’m fine, I swear. I’m just whining. It’s not a big deal,” Steve said, suddenly feeling embarrassed for admitting all of that. 

“It  _ is _ a big deal. Love is always a big deal. And you’re allowed to freak out and be scared. My god, Steve, the first time you asked me out I panicked so much I almost called you and cancelled. Love makes you stupid. Like, really stupid,” Nancy said, smiling at him reassuringly. “But it’s worth it. You know it is.”

Steve nodded. It was worth it.  _ Billy _ was worth it. He was kind of a mess, but hey, so was Steve. He was more than willing to be Billy’s mess if Billy was willing to be his. But he hadn’t heard a peep from the other boy since he’d left. He didn’t even check in to see if Steve had gotten through the airport okay or that he was safe in Hawkins. It stung. Maybe Steve wasn’t worth it to Billy.

“So, nursing, huh?” Nancy asked, jolting Steve from his thoughts. 

“Oh, um, yeah. I mean, my dad is gonna be a total dick about it, but I’m declaring my  major next semester regardless,” Steve said. 

“That’s amazing, Steve. I’m so proud of you,” Nancy said, “God, I’d pay money to see the look on your dad’s face when you tell him.”

Steve opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off when someone cleared their throat. 

“Not to cut this little chat short, but I’ve been sent out here to get you before the kids start a riot,” Hopper said, leaning against the side of the house, cigarette between his lips. 

Steve laughed, shaking his head and dragging a hand through his hair. 

“Better go in then. Last time I didn’t do what they wanted, little shits pushed me in the pool,” Steve said fondly, heading into the house with Nancy in tow. 

It was more fun than Steve could remember having at his house in a long time. His parents would kill him if they knew that greasy pizza was being eaten on the furniture in their pristine living room. But fuck it, they weren’t here. If there were greasy fingerprints all over the furniture, so be it...okay fine, Steve was gonna clean it up later. No reason to piss his parents off more than he already did just by, ya know, existing. 

“Oh, hey Steve?” Max asked, rummaging in her pocket and coming out with a small neatly wrapped gift. “Could you give this to Billy when you get back? Since he’s not gonna be here for Christmas.”

Steve took the gift, turning it over in his hand. He thought of his own gift to Billy. He wondered if the other boy had opened it yet. If he’d liked it. If he cared. Steve didn’t realize he was crying until he was being pulled forward into a hug by Dustin. It was a little awkward since he was sitting cross legged on the floor, but the dam had broken and Steve was crying in front of a room full of kids, his ex girlfriend and her fiance, and two adults who were more like his parents than his actual parents, so they were already way past the point of awkward anyway. 

“Hey, buddy. It’s okay,” Dustin said soothingly, but it only made Steve cry hard, his forehead resting on Dustin’s too small shoulder. “We’re all here, man. We’ve got you. It’s okay.”

That’s when Steve realized that Dustin wasn’t the only one hugging him. He had Max on one side and Will on the other, Mike and Lucas pressed against his back. Eleven was petting his hair, while Nancy grabbed a hold of one of his hands and Jonathan grabbed the other. Even Hopper and Joyce were hovering close by, looks of concern on their faces. Steve pulled away a little, face red with embarrassment. 

“M’sorry,” he mumbled. 

“Hey, you have nothing to be sorry for,” Max said seriously. “And for the record, I’m gonna kill my brother.”

Steve laughed, a watery sounding thing at first that morphed into a full on belly laugh. Everyone else joined in, agreeing that if Billy didn’t get his head out of his ass then they would hunt him down. It didn’t really surprise Steve that they all knew. If the kids knew it was only a matter of time before the adults did too. He found he didn’t really mind them knowing. 

After all, they were his family and he had no idea where he would be without them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there was no Billy in this chapter, but I wanted Steve to have a day with the kids and he'd been holding in those tears so he needed to let them out!


	11. Chapter Eleven

It really shouldn’t have come as a surprise that his parents were extending their trip. But some part of Steve had thought, since it was Christmas and all, they would actually stick to the plans they had made. But there he was, sitting alone in his living room on Christmas fucking Eve listening to his mom spout some bullshit reason for their not being able to make it. 

“We’re so sorry, sweetie. Your father’s clients want another meeting  _ on _ Christmas. Can you believe it? They’re not willing to wait until after the holiday, but we’ll be home as soon as we can. By New Years at the latest,” his mother gushed into the phone. She was guilty, Steve could tell. That was something at least. He doubted his father was feeling any sort of remorse. 

“It’s okay mom, really. Mrs. Henderson invited me to spend Christmas with she and Dustin anyway, so maybe I’ll take her up on it,” Steve said, knowing full well that both Dustin and his mother would be tickled to have him accept the offer. He had planned to get together with all the kids later in the day on Christmas at the Byers place anyway. This way it was easier for him to give Dustin a ride. 

“Oh, I’m so glad! I always liked that woman,” his mother said. 

“Is, uh, is dad there?” Steve asked. 

“No, he’s in a meeting, but we’ll be sure to call on Christmas so you can talk to him then okay?”

Steve nodded, then realized she couldn’t see him through the phone. 

“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good,” he jumped at the sound of the doorbell, before he remembered he had ordered Chinese take out. “I gotta go mom, my lunch just got here.”

“Okay, honey. We love you. We’ll see you soon!”

Steve hung up, shaking his head. Yeah, he’d believe that when it actually happened. Trying not to feel sorry for himself because he knew it wasn’t a good look for him, Steve headed to the door. He opened the door, money in hand, frowning in confusion when it wasn’t the delivery guy, but Max waiting on his doorstep, looking a little worse for wear. Her eyes were wet with unshed tears and there was a bright red welt, that looked suspiciously shaped like a handprint, on her cheek. 

“Is everything okay?” Steve asked, his brow creased with worry as he ushered her into the house. 

Max shook her head, following Steve into the living room and plunking down on the couch, her hands clasped in her lap. She touched her fingers gingerly to her cheek, hissing on contact. Steve excused himself to pop into the kitchen, coming back a moment later with an ice pack wrapped in a towel. 

“Here. Hold that on your cheek,” he instructed, sitting next to Max on the couch. 

He didn’t want to pry, but he couldn’t deny that he was ready to hunt down whoever hit  Max. Now that he'd had a closer look there was no denying that was a hand print on her cheek. Protectiveness swirled in his gut. No one messed with his kids. No one. But he pushed the urge to grab his bat and go on the hunt, waiting until Max was ready to tell him on her own. 

“It was my step dad,” she said quietly, not looking at Steve. 

Steve’s blood ran cold. Her step dad. Billy’s dad. He’d suspected for a while that Billy’s  issues with his dad ran deeper than just not getting along, but he hadn’t want to pry with Billy any more than he did with Max. God, the idea of both of them in that house. Steve grit his teeth, taking a few deep breaths and reminding himself that Max needed him to be calm right now. Driving to her house and smacking her step dad upside the head with his bat wasn’t exactly a healthy way to deal with this. 

“I was hanging out with Lucas, e-even though he told me not to and h-he saw us together. I didn’t think he was gonna be the one who p-picked me up at the arcade. I thought it would be my mom. He was so  _ mad _ . I haven’t seen him that mad in a long time. Not since Billy left. I-I didn’t think he’d...” she trailed off, a fresh wave of tears sliding down her cheeks. 

Steve wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close so that she could rest her  head on his chest. 

“I’m sorry,” Steve said quietly. The words didn’t seem like enough, but he didn’t know what else to say. 

Max sniffled, pushing away from Steve and wiping at her eyes, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Even though Billy and Max weren’t technically related, they were still so similar. The complete and utter disdain for showing weakness, the way they both twiddled their thumbs when they were nervous or uncomfortable. Under different circumstances, Steve would think it was cute. 

“I’m fine. Really. Billy had to deal with so much worse,” she muttered. 

“Hey, just because someone has it worse, doesn’t mean that what you’re going through doesn’t matter, okay?” Steve told her seriously, giving her shoulder a firm squeeze. 

“Okay,” Max said quietly. “I-is it okay that I came here? Your house is the closest to mine so I-

“Of course it is. You’re always welcome and I think I speak for the whole party when I say that none of us want you going back to that house. Not until we get this sorted out.”

Max nodded, sinking further back into the couch. 

“I’m gonna call Joyce,” Steve told her, knowing that a parental figure was probably better than a babysitter at this point. “Is that okay?” Steve asked. 

“Yeah. I-I’d like it if she was here. And my mom. I have to tell her right? Oh my god, I left her alone with him. I didn't think, I just hopped on my board and came over, thank god it wasn’t snowing and there wasn’t any ice because-

“Whoa, take a breath. Is that what I sound like when you guys make me pause to breathe?” Steve asked. He’d never been on the other end of it. That got a smile out of Max, even if it was a small tentative one. 

“You’re even worse.”

Rolling his eyes, Steve pulled out his phone and quickly called Joyce. She was, needless to say, out for Neil Hargrove’s blood. Once word got around to the whole party, Neil was gonna have an angry mob situations on his hand. Complete with torches, pitch forks, and probably a slingshot or two. 

Joyce showed up ten minutes later, Hopper and Eleven right behind her. El ran into the living room, immediately crouching in front of Max and checking her over for injuries. 

“Bad man?” El asked, a deep frown on her face. 

“Yeah, bad man,” Max agreed, letting El pull her into a hug, wrapping her arms around the other girl and resting her forehead on her shoulder. Steve gestured for Joyce and Hopper to follow him into the kitchen, leaving the girls to comfort each other. After all, if anyone knew about abusive father figures, it was El. 

“So, tell us what happened,” Hopper said, already lighting a cigarette. Yeah, Steve was stressed too. 

“I haven’t gotten the whole story yet. I guess Max was at the arcade with Lucas and Neil picked her up and he doesn’t like Lucas or something-

“That racist, son of a-

“Joyce. Please,” Hopper said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. 

“Anyway, I’m guessing that he and Max fought about it and then he just...hit her,” Steve finished, crossing his arms over his chest. He was worried about Max of course, but all he could think about was that time over the summer, when Billy dropped her off. When he stood on Steve’s front step with a fresh black eye. He thought about all the times he’d stood next to Billy in the showers after basketball, seen the bumps and bruises that peppers his chest and ribs. Billy asking Steve is he was gonna hit him when he took care of his drunk ass. God, how could he not have figured it out. 

Steve flinched when Joyce took a hold of his hand, offering him a small smile. He smiled back, squeezing her hand, probably a little too hard. She didn't seem to mind. 

“He’s out of that house now, kid,” Hopper said, stubbing his cigarette out in the stupidly expensive ashtray that his father kept on the counter for his cigars. "He got himself out. And we’re gonna get Max out.”

And yeah, Steve knew that. He knew that this was gonna be the end of it, but he couldn’t help but think about how it must have been for Billy. Growing up with a father like that. It certainly gave a reason for his erratic behavior. Not that it excused it, but who wouldn’t have anger issues with Neil Hargrove for a father?

“I know. I’m...I’m gonna make a call,” Steve said, excusing himself and heading out to his back porch. 

His finger hovered over the call button for a long moment. Things were weird between him and Billy right now, but he knew the other boy needed to know what was happening. Max was his little sister after all. Steve had never been more scared of the damn phone as he held it against his ear, listening to it ring. 

It went to voicemail. 

Thank god. 

“Hey. It’s, uh, it’s me. Steve. I know I kind of dropped a bomb on you when I left a-and you probably don’t want to hear from me right now, but I wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t important. It’s about Max. Y-your dad, he, um...” Steve trailed off, voice cracking. He took a breath. He had to get this out. He could cry later. “He hit her, Billy. She’s fine. I mean, as fine as she can be. She’s at my place and Joyce, uh, Mrs. Byers is here with the police chief. We’re not taking her back there. We’re gonna keep her safe.  _ I’m _ gonna keep her safe. S-so don’t worry.”

There were tears gathering at the corners of his eyes now, but Steve refused to let them fall, biting his lip to hold himself together. 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry about your dad. I’m sorry that I didn’t know. God, I’m so stupid. I should have figured it out. B-but I guess you didn’t want me to know. Not that I blame you for that! I-I didn’t mean it like that, I just...I should have known. I should have...anyway, I-I’m sorry this message is so long. I thought you should know about Max. Um, c-call me when you get this. I...I love...bye.”

Steve hung up, bending at the knee and taking a couple of deep breaths to get himself under control. There was a little girl in his house who needed him to have his shit together right now. With that thought in mind, Steve went back into the house, ready to sit down with Hopper and Joyce and figure out what the next step should be. 

The next step turned out to be Max going home with Joyce, with plans to call Max’s mom and tell her the situation together so that Max didn’t have to do it alone. Hopper would be there to talk Susan through her options, and offer to personally escort Neil out of the house. 

“If you talk to my brother,” Max said as she was leaving, “tell him it’s not his fault okay?” 

Steve nodded, pulling Max in for a hug and making her blush when he kissed the crown of her head. 

“I will. Call if you need anything,” he told her seriously. Max smiled, waving as she and El walked hand in hand out of the house. The sight made Steve smile as he remembered how standoffish El had been when she’d first met Max. She’d never really interacted with another girl her age before and she didn’t know how to act. Luckily, Max was a sweet kid. Totally willing to wait for El to come out of her shell all on her own. Now they were practically inseparable. 

Steve watched until Joyce and Hopper’s cars were no longer visible from his front stoop before he went back inside. His stomach growled. Oh right. Where the hell was his Chinese food?

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The rest of the day was uneventful. Steve’s food eventually arrived, late because, as one of the only restaurants open on Christmas eve, they were totally swamped. He gave the delivery guy, who looked like he was about to collapse from exhaustion, a hefty tip. Then he’d found a marathon of his favorite Christmas movies from when he was a kid and had been curled up on the couch ever since. It was nice. Relaxing. And doing a decent job at distracting him from the fact that it had been hours and he still hadn’t heard a peep from Billy.

If Billy didn’t want to talk to him about what Steve had said when he left, that was fine. But he figured he would at least call to check up on Max. Steve crossed his arms and sunk further into his couch. Stupid Billy. Stupid boys. Why were boys so stupid? God, no wonder the girls he dated in high school hated him. He was all aloof and uncaring and just...stupid. Boys were stupid and that was the end of that!

Steve frowned when the doorbell rang, checking the time. It was nine. He hadn’t ordered anymore food since he’d gotten enough take out to feel him for the next couple of days. Maybe it was one of the kids. Getting to his feet, Steve dragged himself to answer the door, feelings a little groggy after sitting on the couch for most of the day. His jaw dropped when he saw who was waiting on the other side. 

Billy was leaning heavily against the doorframe, an arm wrapped around his stomach. His eyebrow was split open and there was a steady stream of blood dripping from both his nose and his lip. Jesus, he looked like he’d gone ten rounds in a boxing ring. 

“Billy,” Steve breathed. 

Even bruised and bloody, Billy managed to crack his signature cocky grin. 

“Surprise, pretty boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See, I told you Billy would be back soon! Sorry I brought him back all banged up...but it'll get better I swear! Thank you for reading and thank you for all the kudos and reviews <3


	12. Chapter Twelve

“A-are you okay?” Steve asked. He had questions of course, but first and foremost, he wanted to make sure Billy was alright. Or as alright as he could be given the circumstances. 

Billy shrugged, trying to be cool about it, but Steve didn’t miss the way his hands were shaking. 

“I’ll be fine. You should see the other guy,” he joked. 

_ The other guy _ , Steve thought.  _ You mean, your dad? _

Steve wordlessly lead Billy through his house and up the stairs to the bathroom where he kept the first aid supplies. He half pushed him to sit on edge of the bathtub, snagging a washcloth from the drawer next to the sink and getting it wet with warm water. He could feel Billy’s eyes track his movements, but the other boy stayed quiet.  

“So...how did you get here so fast?” Steve asked, turning to press the cloth firmly against Billy’s split brow. He felt guilty when the younger boy hissed in pain, but head wounds bled like a bitch and the only way to stop the blood was to apply pressure so, he would have to deal with it. “I called you, what, five hours ago? There’s no way you drove from California that fast. Even with the way you drive.”

Billy huffed a laugh, grimacing and tightening the grip he had on his ribs. Steve had been trying to lighten the mood a little, but maybe making Billy laugh while he was injured wasn’t such a good idea. 

“Was already on my way when you called. Been driving for like three days. I mean, I stopped off at a hotel yesterday. That’s where I was when I got your call,” Billy muttered, allowing Steve to maneuver his head to tilt it back a little so he could stick a few butterfly strips across his injured eyebrow. 

Steve nodded slowly, processing that information while he cleaned up Billy’s lip. He tried to squish down the feeling of hope that was threatening to wash over him. Hope that Billy had been on his way here for  _ him _ . 

“Take off your shirt,” Steve ordered. 

Billy arched his uninjured brow at him, making Steve blush. 

“I need to make sure your ribs aren’t broken,” Steve said quickly. 

It took a little longer than he should have for Billy to undo all the buttons, with the way his hands were shaking, but he managed eventually, letting the blood stained shirt drop onto the bright white tile of the bathroom floor. Steve made a mental note to clean up in here later. His mother would pitch a fit at the thought of blood on her nice clean floors. 

Steve tried to be as gentle as possible, prodding at Billy’s ribs with tentative fingers, trying not to think about how warm Billy felt under his touch. How much Steve wanted to pull Billy close and hold him until everything was okay again. But they needed to talk. No matter how much it was gonna suck. 

“Where’s Max?” Billy asked suddenly, like he’d only just remembered and maybe he had. He’d been on the road for days and from the bags under his eyes, Steve wagered he hadn’t had much sleep. Plus, even if Billy hadn’t said it, it was clear he’d just had some sort of altercation with his dad. 

“She’s with Mrs. Byers. Susan’s probably over there by now too. They’re, uh, figuring out what to do about...” Steve trailed off. 

“About my dad,” Billy finished for him, swatting Steve’s hands away. “They’re not broken. I’ve had broken ribs before. I know what they feel like.”

Steve grit his teeth. He hated Neil Hargrove more and more by the second. Turning around to face the sink, Steve gripped the counter hard, taking a few deep breaths and counting backwards from ten. It wouldn’t solve anything to kill Neil, he reminded himself. Steve jumped at the tentative touch to the back of his neck, melting into it as Billy’s warm fingers squeezed gently, keeping him grounded. 

“Easy, Harrington. I’m a big boy. I can take it,” Billy said calmly. 

“You shouldn’t have to,” Steve managed, his voice tight. God, shouldn’t Billy be the one  crying right now? 

Steve turned to face the other boy, eyes scanning over the bruises on his torso, pausing a scar across his left side. It was faint enough that you wouldn’t notice unless you were looking for it, but it made Steve’s blood boil. He reached out and traced his thumb across it. 

“Kitchen knife. When I was twelve,” Billy said, quietly, voice shaking. Steve yanked his hand back as if he had been burned when he realized what he was doing. It was intimate, touching a scar like that. He desperately needed distance. 

“I-I’ll go get you a change of clothes,” he said, excusing himself and practically running down the hall to his bedroom, thankful that Billy didn’t try to follow him. 

Steve took a long moment to compose himself. Yes, Billy was here. Yes, Billy was hurt. But so was Steve. His heart was still in pieces and he was still in love with a boy he wasn’t entirely sure loved him back. Jesus, when did everything get so screwed up? Oh right, when he called Billy he boyfriend. Oops. Sighing, Steve snagged a clean pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, bringing them back to the bathroom.

He stood frozen in the doorway. 

Billy was sitting on the floor, his knees pulled up and his face tucked against them as his shoulders shook. He was crying. Billy Hargrove was sitting on Steve’s bathroom floor, crying. And Steve totally shouldn’t have been as freaked out as he was, but he couldn’t help it. He’d never seen Billy cry before. He should walk away. Go back to his room and give Billy a minute. Unfortunately, he bonked his elbow on the doorframe as he stepped back. Billy’s head shot up immediately, red rimmed eyes locking with Steve’s. 

“Don’t look at me,” Billy ordered, scrubbing impatiently at his eyes, cheeks flushed red with embarrassment as he went back to staring down at his lap. 

Steve set the clothes he’s brought on the sink and scooched down in front of Billy, hesitantly curling his fingers under Billy’s chin and tilting it upwards. 

“I’m the last person in the world you should feel embarrassed about crying in front of,” Steve said seriously, a sad smile on his face. 

Billy’s face crumbled, tears flowing in earnest now. He didn’t try to stop them this time, wrapping his fingers tightly around Steve’s wrist, holding tight like Steve was his lifeline. Steve whispered soothing words, using his free hand to card his fingers gently through Billy’s curls. He noted that Billy still cried like a little kid, the way he practically howled like he didn’t care who heard and how he pressed the back of his hand hard against his eyes, wiping at the tears even as they fell. 

“M’sorry. I’m so sorry,” Billy managed through his tears, sniffling into the crook of his elbow. 

“It’s okay. You’re okay. We can talk about all of it later, okay? We can-

“I’m just fucking like him,” Billy said suddenly, choking on a sob as a fresh wave of tears left fat wet trails down his cheeks. 

“You’re not-

“I am! I hurt you. God, I could have killed you. A-and then, I got a second chance. And I fucked it up. I was upset, not at you,  _ never _ at you. M-my dad called me. That day I said all those h-horrible things to you. Said I better get my lazy ass home for Christmas since I pussied out of Thanksgiving. Like I had to come back and pretend it was all fine and we were one big happy fucking family,” Billy laughed wetly, shaking his head. 

“Billy-

“He called me a faggot. Yeah, cause that’s really gonna make me wanna come home. A-and I was pissed and I took it out on you just like he does to me.”

Steve couldn’t take it anymore. He cupped Billy’s face in his hands, gentle but firm, as he forced the other boy to hold his gaze. 

“You listen to me, Hargrove. You are nothing like your dad. You feel guilt. You have remorse. You didn’t want to hurt me. I know you didn’t. And no, it doesn’t make it okay, but jesus Billy, you’re still a better person than that piece of shit because you’re  _ trying  _ to be different. You’re trying to be good. And you are. You’re so good,” Steve told him, ignoring the overwhelming urge to crush their lips together and instead pressing a soft kiss to the other boy’s forehead. 

Billy was looking up at him with those bright blue eyes, tears clinging to his dark lashes and his bottom lip quivering. He looked so open. More vulnerable that Steve had ever seen him. Steve smoothed Billy’s curls back from face, kissing his forehead one more time before getting to his feet, pulling Billy up with him. 

“Get changed. I’ll be in the kitchen. Are you hungry?” Steve asked. 

Billy nodded, already tugging Steve’s t-shirt on over his head and yeah okay, Steve hadn’t thought about what seeing Billy in his clothes might do to him, but now was so not the time. He left when Billy started shucking off his jeans, hurrying down to the kitchen and divvying up some of the leftover Chinese food onto a couple of plates. He put one of the plates in the microwave, grabbing two cokes out of the fridge while he waited. 

“So...you love me, huh?”

Steve froze. He’d figured that would come up eventually, but he was hoping it would be later. When Billy hadn’t just gotten knocked around by his dad. Hell, they hadn’t even talked about what happened when Billy went to see his dad. Apparently the “i love you” conversation was gonna happen first. Steve wondered if it was too dramatic to run away. It probably was. Instead he kept doing what he was doing, taking the plate out of the microwave when the timer went off and replacing it with the other one. 

“I do,” Steve said honestly. No point in lying about it anyway. “And it’s okay if you can’t say it back. But I...Look, I fall hard and I fall fast and the last time I fell, I got my heart broken. I can’t do bullshit again, Billy. I really can’t, so if you’re going to turn me down, just do it.”

The microwave beeped again, signaling that the food was done. Steve quickly grabbed both plates and set them on the table with the cokes. Of course now he didn’t feel much like eating. Billy still hadn’t moved from where he was leaning against the frame of the door, watching Steve move around the kitchen. It was making Steve antsy. 

“W-would you please say something?” he asked, not caring that he sounded desperate. 

“Thanks for the earring.”

Okay...not exactly what Steve was going for, but he took a moment to look at Billy’s ear. His heart clenched when he saw the present he’d gotten Billy for Christmas dangling from his ear, in place of the usual dagger he wore. He’d gotten it on Etsy. It was a simple oval shaped black and white photo of Audrey Hepburn. 

“Oh. You’re welcome. I just though, um, you told me your mom was a big fan and I thought you might...like it,” he finished lamely. 

“I do like it,” Billy said, moving into Steve’s space. He was looking up at him almost shyly as he curled his fingers around the front of Steve’s shirt, leaning up to brush his nose against the other boy’s. “I  _ love _ it.”

Steve’s eyes widened. Did Billy mean what he thought he did?

“Billy, do you, um, I mean-

“Yeah, pretty boy. I love you too,” Billy whispered, yanking Steve closer and kissing him soundly, but softly as not to reopen his split lip. Steve was so shocked he forgot he was supposed to be kissing back, but then Billy was pulling away and seating himself at the table, pulling one of the plates of food toward him and digging in. When Steve continued to stare at him Billy rolled his eyes. 

“Your food’s getting cold,” he said gruffly, but Steve noticed his cheeks were a little pink. 

Steve lowered himself into the chair across from Billy, still not really sure this was actually happening. Billy loved him. Billy Hargrove loved him back. They still had things to talk about. They still had to figure out what was gonna happen with Neil. But when Steve felt Billy’s foot knock against his ankle underneath the table, the other boy’s eyes soft and his smile small but warm, he figured that stuff could wait. 


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Steve woke up slowly, squinting at the sunlight streaming in through his window. There was a solid warmth on his chest, keeping him firmly pinned to the bed, and for a moment he panicked. Until he glanced down and saw that familiar head of dirty blonde curls. He smiled. Billy. 

It had taken a lot of convincing, but eventually Steve got Billy to agree to wait until he’d had a good night’s sleep before he took him to see Max. It was a long day for both siblings and both of them needed rest, because dealing with Neil Hargrove wasn’t going to be a walk in the park. Billy decided Steve was probably right, after he had almost walked into the door on his way to the living room. Cleary he was more tired than he originally thought. They’d curled up in Steve’s too big bed, talking quietly until they drifted off, with Steve’s arms holding Billy safely against him. 

Steve stared down at the boy in his arms. He’d never really seen Billy sleep before. Not this close anyway. Last time they slept in the same bed, Billy woke up first and had snuck out from under Steve to go to class. It was nice. Seeing him like this. He looked so relaxed, his mouth open slightly and a steady stream of drool making a puddle on Steve’s chest. It should have been gross, but it wasn’t. Steve carded his fingers through Billy’s hair, chuckling softly when Billy made a little snuffling sound, wrapping his arm tighter around Steve’s stomach and burrowing closer. 

“Y’laughin at me, Harrington,” Billy asked, words sleepy and slurred. 

“Nah. I just think you’re cute like this,” Steve admitted. 

Billy lifted his head to look at Steve, trying his best to glare but ultimately failing since his eyes were still heavy with sleep. 

“M’not cute,’ he grunted. 

Steve curled his fingers under Billy’s chin, using his grip to pull the other boy up for a slow, lazy kiss. Morning breath be damned. Billy hummed into the kiss, his fingers already teasing at the hem of Steve’s sweatpants. Steve broke the kiss, batting his hands away. 

“No time,” he explained. “I told Joyce we’d be over by eleven and it’s already ten.”

Billy pouted. 

“If you think I can’t get you off in less than an hour then you’re sorely underestimating me and I’m offended.”

Steve rolled his eyes, opening his mouth to respond, but cut off with a startled moan as Billy gave his dick a playful squeeze. One look at the smirk on Billy’s face and Steve knew he’d lost the fight. If you could even call deciding whether or not you have time to get each other off a fight. 

They rolled up to the Byers’ house at almost eleven thirty. 

“Worth it,” Billy said, grinning at Steve with his tongue between his teeth as they got out of the car and hurried up the front steps. Steve glared at him, but there was no fire behind it. He caught Billy’s hand suddenly, stopping him before he knocked on the door. “What gives?” Billy asked. 

“Nothing. Just....Merry Christmas,” Steve said, smiling. He’d sort of forgotten with everything that was going on and from the way Billy’s eyes widened, Steve figured he’d forgotten too. 

“Yeah. Merry Christmas,” Billy said softly, lacing their fingers together and pressing a kiss to the back of Steve’s hand. 

Billy didn’t let go until Susan opened the door and even then it was only because she was dragging him in for what could only be described as a bearhug. Billy was a little surprised, but he recovered quickly, hugging his step mother back. 

“I’m so sorry,” Susan told him seriously, her voice steady but her eyes looking a little wet. “I’m so sorry I never said anything. It wasn’t because I didn’t care Billy, I hope you know that. I was-

“You were scared,” Billy finished for her. “It’s okay. I know.” 

Steve stepped around them, trying to give them a little space, and went to talk to Max who was sitting on the couch with Eleven, watching the exchange between Billy and her Mom. Her cheek looked better. Still a little swollen, but not as red as it had been yesterday. When Billy caught sight of Max over Susan’s shoulder he tentatively made his way over to her, shoving his hands in his pockets and shifting from foot to foot. 

“You okay?” he asked, not looking at her. 

Max nodded, getting to her feet and wrapping her arms around Billy’s stomach, hiding her face in his chest. Billy reacted in surprise, just like he had with Susan, not used to being hugged by either of them, but he put an arm around her tiny shoulders and touched the back of her head gently, holding her carefully, like he thought might break her. 

“I’m sorry,” Billy said when Max pulled away, wiping at the one tear that had managed to escape. 

“It’s not your fault. You know that right? None of this is your fault,” Max said seriously, looking Billy dead in the eye to make sure there was no room for arguments. Billy nodded, but Steve knew that Billy would never totally let himself off the hook. 

“So, guess you guys must have patched things up,” Jonathan said, just loud enough for Steve to hear, as he came to sit next to him on the couch while Hopper pulled Billy aside to talk to him. 

“Yeah. He, uh, he was already on his way to Hawkins when I called him about Max,” Steve said, blushing slightly. Billy had been driving here for  _ him _ . It made his heart flip and his brain go all stupid. 

“I’m happy for you, man. But I feel like it’s only fair to give you a heads up. The kids wanna talk to him. Especially Dustin. I’d wager he’s probably in for the, if you hurt Steve we’ll kick your ass speech,” Jonathan told him, laughing when Steve groaned, covering his face with his hands and shaking his head. “They just want to make sure he knows that if he doesn’t behave himself, he’ll have a troupe of angry kids to answer to.”

It was sweet really. That the kids cared about him so much. But the idea of Billy being subjected to the whole party at once made Steve nervous. He loved the kids, but they were a very particular kind of energy and he wasn’t sure Billy was ready for that. Not to mention none of them knew that he’d told Billy about the Upside Down. That was gonna be a shit show. Steve could hear it now; “Steve! How could you?!” “You know the rules! No one outside the party!” Yup...total shit show. 

“I need a smoke,” Billy grunted, hurrying out onto the porch, already fishing his cigarettes out of his pocket. Steve watched him, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Jonathan elbowed him gently, mouthing “go” and pointing to the door. 

Billy was leaning against the railing, cigarette balanced loosely between his lips as he stared off into space. For the first time in a long time he looked as young as he was. Sometimes Steve forgot that Billy was only eighteen, with the way he strutted around like he was totally in command of his own life. 

“I thought you quit,” Steve said, coming to stand next to his boyfriend. Boyfriend. The word made him giddy. 

“Special circumstances,” Billy mumbled. He took a long drag before dropping the cigarette on the ground, even though he still had half left to smoke, and snuffing it out with the toe of his boot. 

“You okay?” Steve asked. It was a stupid question. He knew Billy wasn’t okay. How could he be? But he didn’t know what else to say. 

“No,” Billy said honestly. “I...I can’t believe he hit her. She’s just a kid.”

“So are you,” Steve reminded him, reaching out and tucking an errant curl behind Billy’s ear. 

Billy’s face crumbled a little then, but he didn’t cry, just stepped into Steve’s space and pushed his face against Steve’s neck. Steve wrapped one arm around Billy’s waist, his free hand holding the back of Billy’s neck, squeezing comfortingly. They stayed like that for a while, Billy taking slow shaky breaths and Steve holding him for as long as he needed him to. 

“Susan wants to file a report. Get him on child abuse,” Billy told him, taking a small step back, but still staying close. 

“That’s a good thing right?” Steve asked hesitantly, hooking his pointer finger around Billy’s, trying to offer whatever comfort he could. 

“Yeah. It is. God, it really it. But it means I’m gonna have to testify. And he’ll be there looking at me like he always does. Like I’m the scum of the fucking Earth and I-

“Hey. You’re not the scum of the Earth. You’re so far from the scum of the Earth, Billy. And I’ll be there. I’ll be right there and laws be damned I’ll stand up there and hold your damn hand if that’s what it takes to make you feel safe because I-I love you...okay?”

Billy squeezed Steve’s hand, knocking his forehead against the other boy’s. 

“I love you too. Just having you here, with me, helps. You can’t know how much,” Billy said quietly. 

Steve smiled, cupping Billy’s face in his hands and kissing him chastely on the lips. When a throat cleared behind them they jumped apart. They turned to see Eleven standing there, her eyes trained on Billy. 

“Um...is there something you want, kid?” Billy asked, not unkindly. 

Eleven studied him for a minute, face serious as always. 

“Pretty,” she decided. 

Billy blushed, rubbing at the back of his neck and shooting Steve a glare as he covered his mouth to hold back his laughter. 

“Thanks, I guess,” Billy said awkwardly. 

“Steve thinks so too,” Eleven said earnestly, turning on her heel to go back inside. It was Steve’s turn to blush as Billy arched a curious brow at him. “Hopper has more questions,” she added, before disappearing back into the house. 

“Well...she’s a little...” Billy trailed off, not sure how to finish that sentence. 

“You get used to it,” Steve promised, looping his arm around Billy’s shoulders and steering him to the door. 

“Pretty, huh?” Billy teased. 

“Shut up.” 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Jesus, that was a long fucking day,” Billy huffed when he plunked down on Steve’s couch hours later. 

Steve hummed in agreement, plugging in the Christmas lights his parents, more likely the housekeeper, had hung up. He clicked on the fireplace, grateful that it was electric since he’d flunked out of Boy Scouts before he joined Billy on the couch. 

Neil Hargrove would be taken in for questioning tomorrow and then came the daunting task of preparing for the trial. Not to mention the divorce proceedings that would take place as soon as Susan finished with the paperwork. She’d told Billy that even though she wasn’t going to be married to his dad anymore, she was still his family and he was always welcome in her house. Billy tried to apologize for giving her such a hard time, but she waved it off. She didn’t blame him for any of it. None of them did. 

Steve was jolted from his thoughts when Billy’s hand landed on his thigh, too high up to be considered innocent. A second later he had a lap full of hot as hell boyfriend, Billy’s lips hovering just above his. 

“So, I was thinking. I feel really bad that I didn’t get you anything. For Christmas I mean,” Billy said, brushing his nose against Steve’s.

“You’re in Hawkins on Christmas. You drove here for me. I mean, even before all the stuff with your dad, you were coming here for me. That’s a present in and of itself,” Steve said, shuddering when Billy slid his hands up Steve’s chest to wrap around his neck. 

“Hmm, not good enough,” Billy decided, tongue flicking out to lick teasingly at Steve’s bottom lip. “I-I was thinking. Maybe you might want to...ya know?” 

Steve’s eyes widened. Sex. Billy was asking if he wanted to have sex. Like actual sex. They hadn’t done that. Hand jobs? Yes. Blowjobs? Definitely. But sex? Not yet. 

“A-are you sure? You don’t have to. I mean, just because you feel bad about not getting me anything,” Steve said, words coming out a little jumbled in his haste. 

Billy sat back a little, fixing Steve with a look. 

“Harrington. Do you think I would offer to let you put your dick in my ass if I wasn’t sure?” he asked. 

Steve’s jaw dropped. 

“You want t-to be the bottom?” he asked. 

Billy’s face went beet red and he scrambled off Steve’s lap, standing in the middle of the room with his arms crossed self consciously over his chest. 

“If you don’t want to it’s fine. I can top. I just...”

“Hey, hey, I didn’t say I didn’t want to,” Steve said quickly, getting to his feet and putting gentle hands on Billy’s hips. “I just wanted to make sure that’s what you want. Sorry, I know that was shitty delivery. I’m on board with whatever you want to do, okay? Whatever you want,” Steve said honestly. 

Billy looped his arms around Steve’s neck and pulling him closer. 

“Have, um, have you done this before?” he asked quietly. 

“Yeah. Not, uh, not a lot. But, yeah, I have,” Steve told him, not sure if the information would make Billy feel better or make him jealous. It was over the summer and Steve still felt dirty when he thought about it. He went to visit Dustin at summer camp and one of the counselors was really hot and long story short they hooked up a couple of times during Steve’s stay. “Have you?” Steve asked. 

Billy shook his head, looking embarrassed. 

“But you want to? With me, I mean?”

Billy huffed, rolling his eyes. 

“Yes,  _ Steve _ . Jesus, I’m a virgin, not some skittish animal that you have to treat with kid gloves okay,” Billy snapped. 

Steve didn’t take it personally. He could tell Billy was nervous. Hell, he was too. He was no expert at the whole, having sex with guys thing, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Billy and ruin his first experience. But he fought through the fear, touching Billy’s cheek and making the other boy look him in the eye. 

“I’m not trying to baby you, I swear. I’m nervous too. I want this to be good for you, but I’ve only done it a few times so it’s not like I’m gonna be great at it. But we’ll figure it out. Because it’s you and it’s me and hey, if we monumentally fuck up, we can always try again,” Steve reasoned, trying to lighten the mood. It had the desired effect as Billy laughed softly, shaking his head. 

“Okay. Let’s do this,” Billy said, kissing Steve quickly before he snagged two pillows off the couch, putting one under his head and the other under his hips as he laid down in front of the fireplace. 

“Here? You want to do it here? My bed is literally right up the stairs,” Steve said. 

“Come on, pretty boy. You lit a fire and everything. Go get the supplies and I’ll be here waiting for you,” Billy said, grinning when Steve practically bolted to his room to grab the lube and condoms he kept in the top drawer of his bedside table. 

His breath caught at the sight before him when he got back to the living room. Billy was already naked, laying with his arm behind his head, while he lazily stroked himself, his eyes closed. He looked so relaxed that Steve was tempted to just stand there and watch. But his self control had never been that strong, so the next minute is was crawling between Billy’s open legs and kissing him as hard and fast as he dared, careful not to reopen Billy’s split lip. 

Steve broke the kiss to pull his shirt off over his head, tossing it somewhere behind him before he licked into Billy’s mouth, relishing the moan the other boy let out against his lips. Billy undid Steve’s jeans with deft fingers, one of his big, hot hands rubbing at Steve’s cock through his boxer briefs, getting him hard in record time. Steve kissed his way down Billy’s chest, ignoring the other boy’s whine when he moved too far away from him to keep stroking Steve’s dick. He nipped at one hip bone and then the other, then pressed a teasing kiss to the tip of Billy’s dick. 

“S-shit,” Billy cursed, his fingers tangling in Steve’s hair as the other boy started to bob his head up and down, keeping a slow pace that had Billy’s thighs shaking. This part they were good at. What came next made Steve a little nervous. Steve pulled off, reaching blindly for the lube he’d set somewhere near Billy’s hip. 

“Have you ever, ya know, fingered yourself?” Steve asked, a little embarrassed. It was an important question, but that didn’t make it an easy one. Billy blushed, nodding. “Good. That’s good. Hopefully this won’t feel too weird then. Are you ready?” Steve asked. 

“Yeah, just get on with it,” Billy huffed, breath catching when Steve slipped the first finger inside. 

Steve worked him open nice and slow, taking his time until he could fit three fingers in without too much resistance. 

“Is is okay? Too much?” Steve asked as he worked the third finger in. 

“It’s fine,” Billy grunted.

Steve frowned, keeping his fingers still for a moment. 

“You gotta be honest with me, baby,” Steve said seriously. 

“It...It hurts a little,” Billy admitted. “But I don’t want you to stop.”

Steve nodded, moving his fingers noticeably slower as Billy got used to the sensation. When Billy started rocking back against him, he figured it must be feeling a little better. When his fingers brushed just right Billy’s hand shot out, curling around Steve’s wrist as a started moan left his mouth. 

“F-fuck that feels-” he cut off as Steve quirked his fingers again, smirking as Billy moaned, louder this time, his head thrown back against the pillows. 

“Good?” Steve guessed. 

Billy glared at him, giving him the finger and making Steve laugh, because really, only Billy would flip him off when he had three fingers inside of him. 

“You think you’re ready for more?” Steve asked. 

Billy nodded eagerly. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m ready. Should I turn over?”

Steve thought for a moment. No, he wanted to see Billy’s face. Sitting back, Steve used all his strength to drag Billy into his lap so the other boy was straddling him, blue eyes wide as they stared down at him. 

“Want to see your face. And this way you can go at your own pace, okay? Move how you want. And if it hurts, you can stop,” Steve reasoned.  

Billy smirked down at Steve, even as he was blushing. He grabbed a condom, tearing it open with his teeth and rolling it onto Steve’s dick. Steve stroked himself a few times, probably using way too much lube, but hey, better safe than sorry. 

“Gonna ride you, pretty boy,” Billy murmured, taking hold of Steve’s dick and slowly lowering himself down. “F-fuck, ow,” Billy hissed when the head was in. 

“Sorry. I’m sorry. A-are you okay, should we-

“Jesus Christ, Steve, I just need a minute,” Billy grunted, squeezing his eyes shut, gripping tight to Steve’s shoulders as he took a few deep breaths before lowering himself further until he was fully seated in Steve’s lap. 

Billy’s head fell forward to rest on Steve’s shoulder, his hot breath on Steve’s neck, making the older boy shudder. Steve ran his hands up Billy’s back, rubbing soothing circles to try and ease his tense muscles. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay, baby. Take your time,” Steve murmured, pressing hot, open mouthed kisses to Billy’s neck. 

It seemed like forever until Billy started tentatively rocking his hips, but Steve didn’t care. He would take whatever Billy wanted to give him and if that meant going slow as fuck, then who the hell cared? 

“S-Steve,” Billy stuttered, beginning to rock his hips in earnest. It stung, but Steve was hot and hard and perfect inside him, so the burn was more than worth it. 

Steve stared up at his boyfriend, his eyelashes fluttering and his mouth dropping open as Billy lifted his hips and dropped back down. This was gonna be over embarrassingly quickly and he knew it. 

“Billy, I’m, I’m gone. I-I can’t, I’m sorry. I’m not g-gonna last,” Steve managed, trying to hold onto some semblance of control as he hooked his arms under Billy’s armpits, gripping his shoulder and pushing his hips up to meet Billy’s thrusts. 

“Kiss me,” Billy begged. “C-come on Steve, kiss me.”

Steve slipped one hand into Billy’s hair, careful not to pull, as his pressed his lips to the other boy’s. Billy licked into his mouth, his nails digging into Steve’s back. Whining against Billy’s lips, Steve broke the kiss, tucking his face into Billy’s neck as his hips stuttered. 

“M’gonna come,” he whimpered, voice reedy and broken. 

“I want you too,” Billy said, lips pressed against Steve’s ear. “Want you to come. It’s okay, sweetheart. Let go.”

Steve bit hard into Billy’s shoulder to stifle his cry, curling in on himself as he came hard, Billy’s syrupy sweet voice whispering encouragements in his ear. He was already basking in the afterglow when Billy whined, rocking his hips against Steve’s overly sensitive dick. 

“ _ Steve _ , I need to come,” Billy whimpered, sounding desperate. 

Nodding, Steve carefully pulled out of his boyfriend, wincing guiltily as Billy scrunched up his face in pain. Eager to distract him, Steve hooked Billy’s knees over his shoulders, leaning down and pressing his tongue flat against Billy’s entrance. 

“O-oh, fuck!” Billy cursed in surprise, gasping when Steve started eating him out in earnest, curling his fingers around Billy’s cock as he fucked into him with his tongue. “Steve! I’m gonna, oh god, it’s too good. I’m gonna-

He cut off with a choked moan, hips thrusting into Steve’s hand as his orgasm moved through him, making his toes curl against the carpet and his fingers tangled in his hair. Steve waited until Billy’s thighs stopped shaking before he crawled up Billy’s body, half collapsing on top of him. 

“You’re heavy,” Billy complained, though he made no move to push Steve off, instead curling his arms around his boyfriend and kissing the crown of his head. “So...not bad for our first time.”

“Hmmm, I don’t know. Think we might need to do it again,” Steve grunted, kissing at Billy’s chest. 

The younger boy laughed, carding his fingers through Steve’s hair, frowning when he noticed Steve’s breath starting to slow like it always did when he was falling asleep. 

“Whoa, hey, pretty boy. We can’t sleep here. We’re on the  _ floor _ ,” Billy said, patting Steve’s shoulder. He rolled his eyes when the only response he got was a soft snore. 

Welp. Guess they were spending the night on the carpet in the living room...Billy grinned.

Steve’s mother would throw a fit.


	14. Epilogue

“You told him?! Steve, what the hell is wrong with you?” Dustin spazzed, staring at Steve like he had six heads. 

“Dustin, calm down. He already knew about the demodogs, okay? He saw the one that  _ you _ made me stash in the fridge. I just filled him on a few more details!” Steve explained. 

“I told you we shouldn’t have kept that thing,” Lucas said, punching Dustin hard in the arm. 

“Well I think it’s a good thing he knows,” Max chimed in. “I mean, he’s got muscle so he’s definitely an asset.”

“Strong,” Eleven said simply, poking at Billy’s bicep until Mike cleared his throat. Rolling her eyes, Eleven planted a soft kiss on his cheek and leaned against his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I still like you best,” she assured him, making the boy blush. 

Steve was watching Billy nervously. Everything had been moving so fast. The trial, Neil being under twenty four hour watch (Hopper pulled some strings with that one) to make sure he didn’t try to come anywhere near Billy, Max, or Susan. And now, officially introducing Billy to the whole of the party as his boyfriend. It was a lot. So far though, Billy had been taking it all in stride. If he spend a handful of nights crying in Steve’s arms, then that was no one’s business but theirs. The kids were still arguing when Billy cleared his throat, getting their attention. 

“Uh, is it cool if I say something?” he asked, hands tucked in his pockets. He fidgeted uncomfortably when all six kids turned to look at him. 

Steve gave his arm an encouraging squeeze and smiled softly.  _ I’m right here with you _ . Billy nodded and took a deep breath. 

“I’m sorry. For everything that happened  _ that  _ night. I was...messed up and I was itching for a fight and I took it out on all of you. I’m not gonna bother making excuses because nothing I say makes what I did okay. It  _ wasn’t _ okay,” he said seriously, turning to look at Lucas. “I owe you an extra apology and you should know that me telling Max to stay away from you had nothing to do with the color of your skin. Not for me anyway. M-my old man, um, he’s a--

“Racist asshole,” Max supplied. 

“Yeah. Yeah, he really is,” Billy said. “So even though it might not seem like it, I was trying to keep Max away from you to keep her safe. I went about it the wrong way. I know. But I swear, I was trying to be a good brother. I just kind of suck at it.”

“You’re getting better though,” Max told him seriously, smiling reassuringly. 

“Thanks, kid. Anyway, I don’t expect you guys to forgive me. I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry. Truly,” Billy finished, looking at his feet. He jumped when he felt a hand on his arm, looking up to see Lucas standing there with a determined look on his face. Dustin came over next, patting Billy awkwardly on one shoulder while Will put his hand on the other one. Mike and Eleven stood close by, smalls smiles on both their faces, while Max beamed at the lot of them. 

“Sorry about your dad,” Lucas said. 

The kids echoed the sentiment one by one and Steve was suddenly in awe at how grown up they all looked. They were always gonna be kids to him, but he couldn’t ignore that they were getting older, starting to understand the world in ways they hadn’t before. Eleven stepped forward, giving Billy’s hand a squeeze. 

“My papa was bad too,” Eleven said.

Billy’s eyes widened but he quickly schooled his expression, giving Eleven’s hand an answering squeeze. 

It was all much less serious after that. The kids had already been in full swing of their New Years Eve bash at the Byers when Steve and Billy arrived. For once, Steve’s parents were right on schedule to fly in tomorrow morning, which meant he had New Years Eve to spend with his second family before he had to drop the bomb on his parents that he wanted to be a nurse. Steve was amusing himself watching Dustin fight to keep his eyes open with midnight fast approaching, when Billy came back into the living room with a fresh bowl of popcorn, which of course the kids descended upon the second he set it on the coffee table. Thank god Hopper had taken Joyce out so they’d have time to clean up before she got home and saw the disaster that was her living room. 

Billy sidled up next to Steve, looking a casual arm around his waist. Over the last few days he’d gotten more comfortable with showing affection in front of the kids. Much to their dismay. When he’d kissed Steve on the cheek before he’d gone out for a smoke with Hopper the other night, Dustin had made a noise of disgust and pretended to vomit. Steve had rolled his eyes, knowing the kid would change his tune as soon as he had his first girlfriend. 

“You guys aren’t gonna kiss at midnight are you?” Dustin asked, right on cue. 

“What’s it to you?” Billy sassed. 

“I’m too young to be scarred by the two of you. Honestly, you’re always holding hands and making goo goo eyes at each other. You’re almost worse than Mike and Eleven.”

“Hey!” Mike said, glaring at Dustin. 

Steve laughed as both boy’s started arguing about which couple was grosser, but his laughter was cut off abruptly when Billy used the grip he had on Steve’s waist to yank him closer, grinning before cutting Steve off with a kiss. It was chaste, considering they were standing in a room full of children, but it still made Steve’s knees a little weak. 

“Hmm, it’s not midnight yet,” Steve mused, lacing their fingers together. 

“Sorry,” Billy said, not sounding so at all. “Couldn’t wait.”

Steve smiled, leaning in to brush his nose against Billy’s and then resting their foreheads together. 

“I hate to tell you this,  _ Hargrove _ , but I think we’re the grosser couple.”

Billy laughed, kissing Steve again, just a quick peck before dragging Steve over to the unoccupied armchair and dragging him down into his lap. 

“Totally worth it,  _ Harrington _ .”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all she wrote folks! Thank you so much to all of you who stuck with me through this fic! I've already got a couple ideas kicking around for the next one, but if you guys have any ideas or prompts you want to send my way please feel free to either drop them in the comments or in my ask box on Tumblr! You guys are the best <3 <3 <3 
> 
> https://callmelilyshameless.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr: https://callmelilyshameless.tumblr.com  
> Find me on insta @ call_me_lily_shameless


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